Fake to be happy?

It recently came to my attention through observation of and discussion with other people, that a lot of folks seem to think that a person who is happy a large percentage of, or all of the time is fake! More people than you might expect almost look down on positivity and find it irritating to witness someone behaving in an "overly excited" manner.

And while we're on the subject, the same seems to apply for someone who's attitude towards others,
or beliefs are "boringly nice". People seem to prefer when one takes a negative outlook on life and kind of joins in complaining or going on about how bad their life is so that the other person doesn't feel so alone and can connect with someone.. through being negative.

 Its common for people who are down, being negative and not feeling good about themselves to dislike it when other people have taken a different route in life, have chosen to see the bright side because it makes them feel happy rather than the the pessimistic view to get a laugh or approval from others.

So what if its not cool to be happy or like and stand up for someone every one else is bitching about? What I always think of is, "why would I want to surround myself with someone who thinks frequent happiness, excitement or "niceness" is false? What good is them liking me (or more the satisfaction and consolation for spreading negativity) if I have to sacrifice my own happiness?"

" A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of sheep"

I know it can be hard to stand your ground when faced with a dominating character who almost forces this fog of negativity on you but as we grow and as we learn of the little importance other people's opinions on our attitude matters, I think we'll develop the ability to see through these people who say that happiness is fake and realise that a person's belief differing from yours does not equal being correct. Often times those with cynical attitudes need to bring others down to their level, which is to be pitied and I'm sure on some level we've all been there.

However, lets all ensure we won't be there in the future! If we're in a bad mood and someone with us is as chirpy as can be, lets not close off and resent them for it, attempting to infect them with our negativity... instead lets try to open up and allow their positive vibes to fill us and improve our mood!
After all, doesn't it feel better to be happy? More free to be positive? As well as making us more productive. If we're down about an injustice, because negativity is draining and creates a feeling of hopelessness, I believe if one wishes to solve that problem one needs to be positive, hopeful for change!

"Don't be afraid to laugh or smile when you're hurting. They have the power to heal. Let them"

Don't be afraid to express an opinion you have as raw as it feels. Don't feel the need to put an edge to it or add something less "nice" if its not what you believe. Your thought out opinion is as equal and important as everyone else's. Don't presume people won't appreciate it even if you think its too "goody two shoes-ish." there will be those who agree and are so glad you said it and maybe they're the people who you're meant to surround yourself with? And if no one agrees, who cares, pursue your belief because you do!

Now to address those who may actually be faking happiness on an everyday basis or at times throughout your life.
       
Its  OK to be sad. You are entitled to feel any emotion that you do feel and you should not feel ashamed or like you cannot tell anyone, like you have to cover it up.

Faking joy or excitement is pointless and does not mean you will instantly achieve the emotion you are imitating. You are avoiding a problem that needs to be dealt with and can be. Acceptance is key and that is why we often need to frown before we smile so that we can realise that yes, I am sad but I don't have to stay this way, I can pick myself up and see that the situation isn't as bad as I thought it was, there's more to life and always a reason to keep going.

Being genuine is extremely attractive and is so much better for ones own soul. There's a big difference between accepting that you're sad and dealing with it, aiming to get better and find the light, and being cynical, wallowing in self pity and dragging others down with you.

If you're not genuine in your feelings, then where can you be genuine?

So to conclude, I highly disagree with those that think people who are happy a large percentage of the time are "fake", being nice is not a bad thing and you don't have to balance it out with a negative edge.

What do you believe on this topic? Have you experienced it in your everyday lives?

                                                       Love, 
                                                          Rachel!=)

Pride

"Don't let your pride get in the way". We've all heard that phrase and well, considering we were more than likely very interrupted by our pride at that moment in time, I would imagine it quite annoyed us! You see, what I wish to talk about today is the differentiation between being a proud person and being proud of yourself. Do I think its a "deadly sin"? No. However if you find yourself making decisions based on your own pride then honesty is not present in your choice and I believe it will impact negatively on your happiness.

 To differentiate, being proud of yourself and others is great! It means you or they have accomplished something which you think is good and overcome an obstacle that maybe you didn't know you or they could overcome. This type of pride is almost a form of gratitude. You are glad of who you are and of the people you have in your life. So what I would say is that pride in this form is a great feeling to experience.

However, we all know of a time when we let our egos and not-wanting-to-let-anyone-think-we're-wrong attitude get to us and it is very hard to budge! Let's take an example, you're arguing with someone and you know you're fighting a losing battle and that your points are wrong and unjust. Now answer me this, would you find it easy to admit you were wrong all along and accept the "I told you so" look? More than likely you're shaking your head and that is an immensely common problem we humans have. A lot of us let our pride hide whats right because we're thinking too much about our individual selves, our own egos. This is the type of pride I dislike in myself and in others. I feel it strips honesty of its glory and decreases the value of a well thought out, moral opinion. I believe we need to think more objectively when it comes to ourselves for the better of those around us and the energy we put into the world.

Some say the reason for martyrdom or just going to extremes for your beliefs is pride but I disagree. I believe there is a difference between doing what you believe to be right and not backing down and pride which as I've just explained is very much to do with your own egos and less about what you're fighting for. However, I do not think anyone should do anything just to boost other people's respect for them. We should do what's right and what's fair and if we do certain acts just to make us look a certain way then we're doing them falsely and we're setting ourselves up for a fall.

So I suppose what I can conclude for myself and hopefully for all of you reading this, is that just because arguments have traditions where neither person will admit they're wrong, doesn't mean you have to follow them. Arguments also have a tradition of getting no where, so traditions and normality in things like this are not always the best. The only way to come to a mature and fair solution is to admit when you're wrong and and don't back down if you think you're right. Don't always feel like you have to be a better, more respectable person by being too proud to accept a gift of money when you're running low or always be right in every situation. Reputations don't matter unless you let them. They're just other people's vague opinions of who you are.

                                                        Love,
                                                            Rachel! =)