Fake to be happy?

It recently came to my attention through observation of and discussion with other people, that a lot of folks seem to think that a person who is happy a large percentage of, or all of the time is fake! More people than you might expect almost look down on positivity and find it irritating to witness someone behaving in an "overly excited" manner.

And while we're on the subject, the same seems to apply for someone who's attitude towards others,
or beliefs are "boringly nice". People seem to prefer when one takes a negative outlook on life and kind of joins in complaining or going on about how bad their life is so that the other person doesn't feel so alone and can connect with someone.. through being negative.

 Its common for people who are down, being negative and not feeling good about themselves to dislike it when other people have taken a different route in life, have chosen to see the bright side because it makes them feel happy rather than the the pessimistic view to get a laugh or approval from others.

So what if its not cool to be happy or like and stand up for someone every one else is bitching about? What I always think of is, "why would I want to surround myself with someone who thinks frequent happiness, excitement or "niceness" is false? What good is them liking me (or more the satisfaction and consolation for spreading negativity) if I have to sacrifice my own happiness?"

" A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of sheep"

I know it can be hard to stand your ground when faced with a dominating character who almost forces this fog of negativity on you but as we grow and as we learn of the little importance other people's opinions on our attitude matters, I think we'll develop the ability to see through these people who say that happiness is fake and realise that a person's belief differing from yours does not equal being correct. Often times those with cynical attitudes need to bring others down to their level, which is to be pitied and I'm sure on some level we've all been there.

However, lets all ensure we won't be there in the future! If we're in a bad mood and someone with us is as chirpy as can be, lets not close off and resent them for it, attempting to infect them with our negativity... instead lets try to open up and allow their positive vibes to fill us and improve our mood!
After all, doesn't it feel better to be happy? More free to be positive? As well as making us more productive. If we're down about an injustice, because negativity is draining and creates a feeling of hopelessness, I believe if one wishes to solve that problem one needs to be positive, hopeful for change!

"Don't be afraid to laugh or smile when you're hurting. They have the power to heal. Let them"

Don't be afraid to express an opinion you have as raw as it feels. Don't feel the need to put an edge to it or add something less "nice" if its not what you believe. Your thought out opinion is as equal and important as everyone else's. Don't presume people won't appreciate it even if you think its too "goody two shoes-ish." there will be those who agree and are so glad you said it and maybe they're the people who you're meant to surround yourself with? And if no one agrees, who cares, pursue your belief because you do!

Now to address those who may actually be faking happiness on an everyday basis or at times throughout your life.
       
Its  OK to be sad. You are entitled to feel any emotion that you do feel and you should not feel ashamed or like you cannot tell anyone, like you have to cover it up.

Faking joy or excitement is pointless and does not mean you will instantly achieve the emotion you are imitating. You are avoiding a problem that needs to be dealt with and can be. Acceptance is key and that is why we often need to frown before we smile so that we can realise that yes, I am sad but I don't have to stay this way, I can pick myself up and see that the situation isn't as bad as I thought it was, there's more to life and always a reason to keep going.

Being genuine is extremely attractive and is so much better for ones own soul. There's a big difference between accepting that you're sad and dealing with it, aiming to get better and find the light, and being cynical, wallowing in self pity and dragging others down with you.

If you're not genuine in your feelings, then where can you be genuine?

So to conclude, I highly disagree with those that think people who are happy a large percentage of the time are "fake", being nice is not a bad thing and you don't have to balance it out with a negative edge.

What do you believe on this topic? Have you experienced it in your everyday lives?

                                                       Love, 
                                                          Rachel!=)

Honesty

How do you feel about honesty? No, but how do you really feel about honesty? You don't want to be lied to, but if someone told you your outfit was truly horrendous you might change your attitude. Because honesty is kind of pushed around a bit,  it's thought correct in theory but then isn't practiced enough in the world. So is it right to be honest? What's the limit? Where should you and should you not be honest?

Obviously I can only speak for myself, but if there's one trait in a person I rank above any other it is genuine, sincere honesty. All this mysterious business doesn't intrigue me the way honesty endears me. I can't stand people being cunning and lying their way through life. It must be awfully sad, exhausting and stressful to constantly be trying to find happiness in a weave of lies. Then again, lying is so easy, isn't it? I can preach all I want but I've told my fair share. Sometimes we lie to ease tensions and possible pain for ourselves or others, other times we lie to make a story or our lives sound more interesting. But are we ever happy when we lie, truly happy? I know myself that honesty just makes me feel so much better, sometimes it can be terribly difficult but in the long run I feel more at peace with myself. Makes sense, doesn't it?

      I think some people are naturally more open and honest, and others more reserved. While I am drawn to people who aren't very secretive, I respect people who are more on the private side too. That comes down simply to who you are and how easily you trust a person. However, when it comes to people running their thoughts through an editing software before they utter a syllable and don't believe in speaking the truth when it matters, I simply can't understand it. So many people are afraid to speak their mind and point out when something's wrong. This is why there's so much corruption in the world, tell me I'm talking through my hat here and maybe I am because I don't watch the news, I know sweet damn all about current affairs but what I do know is that human beings have a tendency on all levels of society to keep their mouths shut or gloss over things, putting something forward in an around about way instead of stating the blatantly obvious facts. Its because we want to be like able, we don't like the sound of boos or the looks of annoyance and irritation. We want people to applaud us greatly and tell us we're great. We want a clap on the back and a proud smile. That's what it comes down to. We've also soaked up from the world that opinions can be wrong and moreover that its bad to make a mistake. Its instilled a great deal of fear in us to the point where we want to speak what's 'right' even though the only thing that's right is our gut feeling.

That's all jolly fine, yes honesty is vital when it comes to telling Pat Kenny that he gets paid too much or that politicians should carpool but what about telling your girlfriend she looks fat in those jeans? What about telling your best friend about the foundation lines? Is that right? I mean it is honesty, she really should get the size up and do a little more blending but its just so harsh. I know this type of honesty I fail at. I really feel when other people are upset or uncomfortable so when they look at me with those insecure eyes of desperation  what am I supposed to do? Lie clearly. And it makes them feel better, they never know otherwise. Maybe ignorance is bliss in those cases. Then there's the question of how someone will ever improve if you don't tell them it was a bad performance, that they deserve to know if you don't like them in that way. Its a difficult one and I suppose the best thing to do is train yourself to tell them the truth but in a compassionate manner. Maybe we're afraid to tell people the truth they won't like because we know it would hurt us if we found out. However isn't that just us needing to lose our sensitivity to the truth? The truth hurts sometimes but there's no point in evading it because we need to move forward from constructive criticism and grow. In saying that, there's no need to be rude or ridiculing about it but informing someone gently is probably the best for them and ye're relationship...

All in all, I am honesty's biggest fan. There's a lot of corruption in the world, a lot of lies, a lot of people out for themselves faking their way through life but they are not happy so don't try and beat them. You'll never be on top permanently. Always strive to be genuine and speak from the heart, because then you'll never be wrong. Most of all, make sure to be honest with yourself and connect to your core often. If you lie to yourself then you often just feel unhappy or self conscious and you don't know why because its very hard to realise and it almost buries itself deep inside of you. Remember, its perfectly OK to make a mistake and speaking what you feel is true is never wrong.

          What's your view on honesty?
                                                          Love,
                                                               Rachel=)