Pride

"Don't let your pride get in the way". We've all heard that phrase and well, considering we were more than likely very interrupted by our pride at that moment in time, I would imagine it quite annoyed us! You see, what I wish to talk about today is the differentiation between being a proud person and being proud of yourself. Do I think its a "deadly sin"? No. However if you find yourself making decisions based on your own pride then honesty is not present in your choice and I believe it will impact negatively on your happiness.

 To differentiate, being proud of yourself and others is great! It means you or they have accomplished something which you think is good and overcome an obstacle that maybe you didn't know you or they could overcome. This type of pride is almost a form of gratitude. You are glad of who you are and of the people you have in your life. So what I would say is that pride in this form is a great feeling to experience.

However, we all know of a time when we let our egos and not-wanting-to-let-anyone-think-we're-wrong attitude get to us and it is very hard to budge! Let's take an example, you're arguing with someone and you know you're fighting a losing battle and that your points are wrong and unjust. Now answer me this, would you find it easy to admit you were wrong all along and accept the "I told you so" look? More than likely you're shaking your head and that is an immensely common problem we humans have. A lot of us let our pride hide whats right because we're thinking too much about our individual selves, our own egos. This is the type of pride I dislike in myself and in others. I feel it strips honesty of its glory and decreases the value of a well thought out, moral opinion. I believe we need to think more objectively when it comes to ourselves for the better of those around us and the energy we put into the world.

Some say the reason for martyrdom or just going to extremes for your beliefs is pride but I disagree. I believe there is a difference between doing what you believe to be right and not backing down and pride which as I've just explained is very much to do with your own egos and less about what you're fighting for. However, I do not think anyone should do anything just to boost other people's respect for them. We should do what's right and what's fair and if we do certain acts just to make us look a certain way then we're doing them falsely and we're setting ourselves up for a fall.

So I suppose what I can conclude for myself and hopefully for all of you reading this, is that just because arguments have traditions where neither person will admit they're wrong, doesn't mean you have to follow them. Arguments also have a tradition of getting no where, so traditions and normality in things like this are not always the best. The only way to come to a mature and fair solution is to admit when you're wrong and and don't back down if you think you're right. Don't always feel like you have to be a better, more respectable person by being too proud to accept a gift of money when you're running low or always be right in every situation. Reputations don't matter unless you let them. They're just other people's vague opinions of who you are.

                                                        Love,
                                                            Rachel! =)

Success

A successful man?

In many's eyes, through implications anyway, this a very popular picture of what success is in this world. Having a load of money, from a brilliantly paid job topped with power and even fame is probably the most widespread definition of what the term "success" means. I actually just looked it up in a dictionary and its true. The definition is "the attainment of wealth, positions, honors and the like" and another one is "the accomplishment of one's goals". These are the two types of success I want to speak about and then I want to give my own take on such a weighty, human- made- pressurising word.

Jay Z, an iconic rapper and regarded as an extremely successful businessman. He's married to another powerhouse, Beyonce Knowles, and is a good representation of the hip hop/ gangster/ swag chasing/ rap industry which he's referred to himself as being the king of. There are many others I could mention who frequently bring up in their tracks how successful they are because they have money, fame, power, women to have sex with and various other materialistic, flashy things (apart from the women, but that's how they see them). I think that's sad. I genuinely pity them and their view on success which is so dependent on external circumstances. The success itself is very outward based, proving to the world that you are successful instead of being so within. Drake (he's YOLO guy) released a song in 2006 entitled "Success" where the chorus is  "Yeah I want the money/Money and the cars/Cars and the clothes/The hoes/I suppose I just wanna be/I just wanna be successful" To summarise these desires as success is, underneath it all, what a lot of people would count as a fitting one. That to me is where the problem lies.

Moving away from that theory for a second, I want to move onto another one. Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever heard of Eric Thomas? Hands down one of the best motivational speakers I've ever heard and truly is an inspiration. 

http://www.youtube.com/user/etthehiphoppreacher

This is a link to his YouTube channel and I highly recommend checking it out, you won't be disappointed. However I would like to focus on his mantra which is 

"When you wanna succeed as much as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful"

This is possibly a more extreme version of another hugely accepted formula for success. This theory contains the belief that with hard work and huge amounts of will power you can achieve anything you want to achieve. Eric Thomas uses the phrase constantly and basically says that you can't allow yourself to be distracted with other things apart from working towards what you want to be successful at. You need to want it desperately and sacrifice things for it, a huge example he gives is sleep. He even quotes 50 cent who said "Sleep is for broke people". So to get to the point, this theory of success is very broad, you are left to decide what you want to be successful at whether its academia, getting a promotion at work, losing weight whatever it is this formula will apply if a good work ethic is required. And I agree, we are lazy creatures most of us and motivation is a requirement to get things done however I raise an eyebrow at the extremity of losing sleep and not taking proper care of yourself just for success in these terms. I laugh every time I think of 50 cent's quote because to me sleep is not for broke but for healthy, happy people. If that means poor, then lets live in poverty. This definition for success troubles me in another way too. Once we accomplish a goal, we move onto the next one and the next one and so on. We aren't satisfied and don't deem ourselves successful because we could always be more successful, there will always be someone who is, always a higher position to fill. You're climbing an infinite ladder and if you can't feel it, then is it success?

In my opinion, neither of these mean success. I believe success is happiness. Success is waking up in the morning (after a good night's sleep) and having something to look forward to in the day ahead, to wake up with a smile, to wake up possibly with problems to deal with but no worries because they haven't affected you. Success is holding your patience intact and being able to love even those who act in a way that makes it impossible. Success is loving yourself, looking in the mirror and not cringing or frowning, loving the unhealthy parts of you so that you'll want to make them healthy, falling in love with the weird things you say and the awkward things you do. Success is confidence, when what you laugh at most are the looks of contempt on people's faces as you speak the truth, as you be who you are because they won't. Success is seeing the full pigment in the colours of every thing in the world, to never grow too old and wise to have breath taking moments on this ancient earth, to soak up learning like a sponge and to truly listen to people. Not to pick up when it might be a good time to start speaking yourself, but to actually absorb the words into you. Success is pushing past the gates of lies and being 100% honest with yourself and with everybody, to walk through life with your palms open and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and reveal the amazing thoughts within you. Success is having a calm soul, focused on the present moment and not possessing any bitterness or hate for another individual. Success is knowing with all the certainty you need that no matter what the world throws at you, there is something in you that can overcome any obstacle. Success is when you are grateful, when you have complete awareness of the treasures that exist in your life, that you are breathing being one of them. 

This is success to me. If you've succeeded in being happy internally and connecting with who you are then you are a success and you can never fail. Only with this foundation can you go on and achieve all of the dreams you may have and be able to put the work in to getting them. 

Love,

Rachel! =)

A gratitude blog.

    We are unbelievably lucky. You're wondering why I'm including you since I don't even know your circumstances? What your life consists of? I don't need to. I'm talking about how lucky we both are to be alive. We may have many other things to be thankful for or nothing else at all. Regardless we are living so that will be the base of our thanks.

 Why even be thankful for things in our life, accomplishments etc? If you are a pure atheist who doesn't believe in thanking God or a higher being , maybe you've questioned the purpose of this exercise. However its much more than that. Learning the art of gratitude enables you to benefit from the things you do have as opposed to the things you don't. It gives you a passion for life and motivates you . Essentially, it brings you happiness. So its not just a case of being submissive and worshipping an entity up there, its for yourself.

    Thus ladies and gentlemen, in this blog I am to going to write down the main things that I am grateful for  in the hopes of brightening my day and hopefully inspiring you to do the same!

Things I am grateful for....

1. My life. To be alive in this world. I don't know why I'm here or where I'm headed after but I'm alive now and that's great!

2. My mobility. A great fear I have is paralysis. It would be the worst thing that could happen to me and so I am so glad that I have the ability to move freely to wherever I want.

3.My Vision.  I have my sight to be able to see the beautiful things the world has to offer and witness incidents take place and all the big events in my life. Our ability to see is overlooked each and everyday. What would you do without your sight? Just imagine it, total darkness no matter what. You are so lucky to be able to read these words, see these colours. Take advantage of that and really see what's around you, take in the pigment of the colours and observe closely the different sights when you're on holiday or just in an unfamiliar place.

4. My hearing. I felt this needed to be in a seperate section to vision because they're both so important individually. Most of us have a passion for music don't we? Imagine not being able to listen to your favourite song or just feel the way only music can make you feel. Or even certain noises, people talking to you. I think we take all our senses for granted much too often, every day basically.

5. My health. My general health. To be able to get up every morning with no pain or difficulty. To have no physical setbacks, its a blessing. I really should use this revelation to exercise more...

"The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.

Friedrich Nietzsche"

6. The people in my life. My family and friends who surround me. I always have someone to turn to and people to share jokes with, big events and everything really. Connecting with people and being able to share their emotions is kind of beautiful when you think about it. Not everyone is so lucky to have people in their lives with whom they have benefiting relationships.

7. My connection with myself. I've always been someone who is well connected with themselves. I check in with myself a lot to (no matter how cliche it sounds) ensure that I'm happy and following my honest convictions.  Some people aren't as fortunate. So many lose themselves by getting caught up in life and they live day by day without being completely honest with themselves.

8. My Opportunites and Circumstances: I don't know if everyone reading this is so fortunate but I feel so grateful that I am in a peaceful country, which is not at war or enduring a terrible crisis at the moment. I live in a first world country, which may be in a recession, but there are still so many opportunities out there for me. I'm also so grateful for everything I own, there are so many people out there with terrible circumstances in their lives but when you don't encounter them everyday you can forget how lucky you are. Also, we live in a modern age! We have amazing technology at our fingertips and there are so many more rights for women, gays and blacks than there were years ago. Its a great time to live in.

9. My talents. I may not be the best at everything I want to be and since I use to be a perfectionist this fact led me to forget about the things I was good at. We are all good at something and we should value those things! I believe we all have a purpose in the world and no matter what you will fulfill that purpose. Your talents contribute to your purpose which is exciting. So act on them even if you just have one and that one talent is polishing shoes or making buttons. Still counts.

10. My Imagination and dreams . Without them we'd all be pretty boring. Wouldn't we?

I feel like because life is so vast that I'm definately leaving something out or in ten minutes I'll think of something that really should have made my top ten and because it didn't it'll just vanish or something. ;)Despite this, here are my top ten things that I am grateful for in my life. The headings probably aren't that different to yours but the content sure is! I hope you can take the time now to ponder on what you're most grateful for in your life. Trust me it'll lift you out of a bad mood in an instant!

    Of course the question is, 
                                              What are you most grateful for?

                                                                                         Love,
                                                                                               Rachel=)