Suicide

Donal Walsh.

The above image is of a boy, who certainly deserves to be called a man. His life in this world ended on the 12th May 2013. Donal Walsh lived for 16 years on earth, 4 of which he spent fighting cancer. We all know cancer, have heard or been affected by it in some form, however I myself received a completely new insight into the unbelievable pain it causes physically, mentally and emotionally after reading this article where Donal himself speaks of the struggles as large as "mountains" that he had to face in his personal battle against cancer.

His determination in fighting the odds and surviving much longer than expected, in rehabilitation being able to walk again after six weeks when it was only expected for him to do so six months on, his strength in being able to discuss his inevitable death so openly and maturely in interviews and articles, as well as keeping his spirits and positivity levels up to a place where he could leave an impression on the people and make a difference to the world he was leaving behind. His intelligence in being able to gain a perspective on the world, think of himself as not being better than anyone else "We are all the same, we are all given one body, one mind. The only difference for me is that I'm looking from the mountain" An absolutely incredible thing to say.

I, like the whole nation, have become inspired by him, so much so that I felt the need to write this blog post in his honour but also to honour the message he wished to leave the world with. 

"Suicide is not a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

So for the remainder of this post I am going to give my views on the topic of taking your own life in order for even just one more person to become inspired by Donal's message and seek help.

I've read Donal speaking about how it makes him "angry that these people choose to take their lives, to ruin their families and to leave behind a mess that no one can clean up" Do you agree with him? Can you see his side of view? I don't believe it is as simple for what is going on inside the person's mind but I can understand his anger greatly.

Now, in preparation for this blog post I spoke to someone who has suffered from depression in the past, I wanted an accurate view of something I had never experienced or gone through myself. One thing they said that struck me was that for people contemplating suicide it doesn't feel like a choice. They think this is the only option. I could imagine how someone suffering from severe depression could think that because the mind is very powerful, it can make you convinced that things aren't possible when they are, it can narrow your options so that you feel you've only one when you don't, it can make things up and pretend they're real when they aren't. Our minds are often not rational and as I learned from speaking to this person, depression is not what a lot of us may think it is which is a deep sadness. You feel nothing and find it incredibly difficult to care about things. You feel hopeless. And of course not every person who feels depressed contemplates suicide but those who do feel like it is the only way out. 

"Having a rough morning?
Place your hand over your heart.
Feel that?
That's called purpose.
You're alive for a reason.
Don't give up."

However I am not going to continue to talk anymore about depression, something I can honestly say I have never been through and so cannot give advice. All I know, from speaking to this person with first hand experience and my own reasoning, is that help is the answer, seeking someone or a service that will listen to you is vital. Depression can also lead out from suppressed feelings, angst turned inwards. Everyone says it but its true, don't suffer it alone when there are so many people out there who want to help you and can. You may not think you have the right to or that you're weird and won't be accepted but you are not a bad person for feeling this way or not feeling at all. Do not be ashamed or judge yourself for your own thoughts, there are many other people who have gone through the same thing and reaching out to someone professionally or otherwise in good faith will help you realise this but also hopefully put things into perspective and guide you towards progress.

"There is always hope.
The world is vast and meant for wandering.
There is always somewhere else to go."

I truly believe that suicide is not the answer. You might feel so weak and deceived by your mind that the world is a terrible place, nowhere to turn, nowhere to escape to except for death. This is so untrue. Firstly,  know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle. Sometimes we want to give up so badly but it is so important to persevere, just know that you CAN keep going no matter what has happened to you or is going on in your life, no matter where you are or what you think the the future holds. You can survive it. Think about yourself, think of all you've been through, all the happy times, the times you've looked in the mirror and yeah you've thought you looked good, the times you looked at someone with love and felt that incredible feeling or when you received it. Think of your dreams, your plans, the times you've felt proud or enthralled. Think of the whole range of emotions you've felt, think of the negative ones too and think of how you overcame them. Connect with yourself and realise that you've felt pain before, maybe this is the worst you've ever experienced but you will come through it. Pain itself is temporary, eventually time will heal and the pain will leave you. Strength. Strength. Strength.
To address the latter, you may feel hopeless, like the world is a terrible place. The spark of life has left and everything is dull. Look at the above quote and listen to this "Such wonderful things surround you". There is so much beauty in this world, so many amazing people and places, so many breath taking moments to be had, that to think there isn't is false and unjust to the world that is so busy and interesting. However I know a lack of perspective can get the better of us and we only see the crappy world in our mind or immediate situation, but lets broaden this tight perspective and stretch our imagination, realise that there is always a different route to go down and there will always be beauty in this world. Yes, I am not so naieve to think there isn't tragedy and problems but I am a big believer in change and if you find yourself bogged down on the negatives that exist in life, don't give up on it, why not put all your efforts into changing injustice in the world? If you're upset, hopeless about something you most certainly can't change then acceptance and embracing is necessary, changing one's attitude. Gratitude is so important. It can transform your life and bring a buzzing feeling to you about what's around you.Really look at everything in your immediate surroundings, taking in every single pigment of every single colour, every little detail we usually skim over. I do this in lots of places and I'm asking you now, why not give it a try? It will help.

"Worry is the deposit for a problem"

Do you ever look back on the past? Cringe or feel huge regret? Long for it to be like it was back then or just can't seem to leave it behind where it belongs? There is no point. We cannot change the past and what we've done, regret is useless and harmful. We cannot look into the future (we humans overestimate our confidence in knowing what lies ahead) and we don't know what's to come, nothing happens as you expect it will and YOU have the power to change it, take the power you have over your mind live in the present, if things aren't going well we need to try and find something positive to pull us through to a future we can make great.


So, friends, that is my appeal to you if you have ever, are, or may in the future contemplate taking your own life. Know that you are so much stronger than that and to refer back to Donal's case, I'd like to remind you, like he did, that life is precious. You are so ridiculously fortunate to be alive right now, everything else is a bonus but you have life, something so many don't have. Donal himself said he wished he's had even a few more months alive but he didn't have a choice, you may not think it but the choice is entirely yours. You are so fortunate and please remember this each and everyday. Pain is so unbelievably hard to bear sometimes but you are well able to. It will go away. Who knows what life will bring?

No matter who you are reading this, you may be young, old, white, black, overweight, underweight, loud, quiet, boy, girl, it doesn't matter. No matter who you are please use this post, my honour and sharing of what the great donal Walsh aimed to spread, as a sign, guide or reason to not commit suicide. You deserve this life and are strong enough to seek help and come through the other side which is happiness. 

Stay Strong.

Love,
Rachel! =)

Quotations Sunday: The Idea of Society

Random, nameless girl?
This quote was a realisation for me, not a group of words with which I connected with but a sentence that made me think about what I mean when I use the term "society" flippantly when I talk, what we all mean. Because its very easy isn't it? When we have a problem with the workings of the world we explain it by saying "society tells us...", "a product of society", "you're not ugly, society is" etc. I've said it many times in my blog posts and I'll mention the word in many more but when you come to think about it, what is society?

Society is us. Yes you. No matter who you are reading this you are making up the collective term given to the world's population, the different groups of people filling the earth. So when we call society ugly, pressurising and messed up we often refer to it as a seperate entity to which we have no control over. This is totally false. You are as equal a member as any other in this immense and diverse club and so you have the power to change its rules and traditions as much as anyone can. It kind of ties in with this amazing quote:
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
Its easier said than done though, isn't it? We all know what we hate about the world and we all know the type of person we'd love to meet but we don't connect that we can play a role in changing this. If you don't like negativity or bitching then you can shorten its lease in the world by ceasing to partake in it. The media and society are often interlinked so if you feel "society" is ugly because beauty in its eyes is a size zero then the only contribution you can make is to never mock someone for being overweight, or never whine about not being the smallest size, stop liking pictures on tumblr which read "I need to get skinny for summer". Do you see what I mean? There are a billion other examples of course. The change you want to see is peanut butter eradicated? Stop eating it.

Addressing the second quote, (Holy Moly another quote within a quote post, this is like inception!) I feel the change you might want to see in the world applies with people too. You want to meet someone who's a great listener? Become one. You want to meet someone who is patient with you and kind? Be that person to someone else. Its important that we realise that we can't wait for other people to change the world for the better in our eyes. We have to take the first step. You don't have to arrive in as prince charming or God and fix everything that has ever been broken on the globe. You just have to try and follow your honest convictions everyday, if you fail one day just try again the next. Remember to fail better though (I'm integrating so many quotes into this post :P)

However instead of using this quote to beat yourself up or panic because you suddenly think you are the reason for wars, depression and bullying, think of it as an empowering post. Society is not one person or creature, it is you, it is me, it is all of us!  Hopefully you now know that you do not have to watch from the sidelines while a parade of society's products cruise by destroying the path. You can change the world today. You don't need a gun, a mind blowing speech or a license. Just do what is right no matter what.

What's your view on Society?
Love,Rachel!=)

Idealism VS Realism: My thoughts....

The stereotypical view of an idealist and a realist.

I always called myself an idealist. I thought that Realism was essentially another word for boring and my general hobbies and interests pretty much fit the bill for my chosen title. I'm very spiritual, philosophically minded and I hold beliefs that are pretty out there. My future career plans are very unstable and I am a huge supporter of positive thinking- to an extreme point. However, as I delved further into this fascinating topic of Idealism VS Realism I discovered that its not as clear cut as I thought. Just like any thing else in life, I don't think its possible to categorize yourself one hundred percent.

To attempt to define both terms in a basic manner, I think most of us would agree that Idealism is behavior or thoughts based on how things should be or how the person wants them to be with a tendency to be imaginary or visionary.

Realism on the other hand is behavior or thought based on how things are, regardless of how the person wants them to be. Realists are often practical and pragmatic.

I personally agree with both definitions but I think the incorrect belief that I used to hold was that Idealists were very happy and positive people. That life was splendid for them. I also thought that Realists must be depressed because they focused on reading the news(which is rarely uplifting) and were against dreams, etc. How could they ever find pleasure in their lives?

I have now realized that that belief is false in my opinion. Severe idealists in my life are some of the most depressed people I know. And I have recently come to discover that I, myself am a realist in many ways. In many, many others I'm a dreamer, an idealistic dreamer, but now I like to call myself an optimistic realist.

The reason that I feel severe idealistic thinking can lead to depression is because it simply causes disappointment. If you're constantly living in a head full of crazy dreams then you're not going to live in the present and focus on making those dreams into goals. You become disappointed when these dreams didn't fruition and thus feel depressed. I know a proud realist who believes in pushing their problems away, filling their head with good thoughts instead of the niggling obstacles. I don't. This is an idealistic belief which I highly disapprove of. One of my favourite quotes is "The best way out is through". I think that if a problem enters your life it is better to find the positives in it and work through it until you find a solution. That is where my self- denoted title "optimistic realist" comes from. I believe in observing the many opportunities in and using this world to achieve the many, many dreams I have. I think it is achievable for impossible things to come true in this world. I am also well aware that there are terrible things happening in the world. However, these  self- proclaimed "Realists" are very good at talking about how awful and cruel poverty, sex-trafficking and murder is yet I find that there are a lot of angsty talkers out there who simply have a negative attitude but don't bother to do anything about changing things. I don't think a negative attitude is going to help anyone. I adore volunteer work and plan on including it as a big part of my life. However I will never become a cynic because what will that do?? Positively moving towards change is what I plan to accomplish. 

Another idealistic approach to life which I disagree with is the craze of filtering photographs on Instagram or Tumblr and of course photo shop in magazines and such. There is beauty in the world already. I think there are many sights in the world you could take a breath taking picture of without altering it at all. When pictures of people are changed to look 'perfect' I just don't get it? Do you want the whole world to feel inadequate or something? 

All in all, I think it is important to have a balance of the two in your life because if you're either extreme, you're missing out on a lot. My favourite idealistic thought is that nothing is impossible. What isn't normal/ possible now could well be in the future if we make it. And that's within us too. Just because realistically we should have insecurities and hate people doesn't mean that you can't change that for yourself. Its idealistic but totally possible. We all need to be genuine when we go through life though. Like the infamous Kanye West said, we need to "suffer from realness" and my interpretation of that is eliminating fakeness, because there's nothing worse than faking a positive attitude.  So in my view its a draw, I'm going to keep on dreaming but I'm never going to lose the world around me either.

Now its over to you guys, in your opinion

Which side wins?

Love,

Rachel!=)