Suicide

Donal Walsh.

The above image is of a boy, who certainly deserves to be called a man. His life in this world ended on the 12th May 2013. Donal Walsh lived for 16 years on earth, 4 of which he spent fighting cancer. We all know cancer, have heard or been affected by it in some form, however I myself received a completely new insight into the unbelievable pain it causes physically, mentally and emotionally after reading this article where Donal himself speaks of the struggles as large as "mountains" that he had to face in his personal battle against cancer.

His determination in fighting the odds and surviving much longer than expected, in rehabilitation being able to walk again after six weeks when it was only expected for him to do so six months on, his strength in being able to discuss his inevitable death so openly and maturely in interviews and articles, as well as keeping his spirits and positivity levels up to a place where he could leave an impression on the people and make a difference to the world he was leaving behind. His intelligence in being able to gain a perspective on the world, think of himself as not being better than anyone else "We are all the same, we are all given one body, one mind. The only difference for me is that I'm looking from the mountain" An absolutely incredible thing to say.

I, like the whole nation, have become inspired by him, so much so that I felt the need to write this blog post in his honour but also to honour the message he wished to leave the world with. 

"Suicide is not a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

So for the remainder of this post I am going to give my views on the topic of taking your own life in order for even just one more person to become inspired by Donal's message and seek help.

I've read Donal speaking about how it makes him "angry that these people choose to take their lives, to ruin their families and to leave behind a mess that no one can clean up" Do you agree with him? Can you see his side of view? I don't believe it is as simple for what is going on inside the person's mind but I can understand his anger greatly.

Now, in preparation for this blog post I spoke to someone who has suffered from depression in the past, I wanted an accurate view of something I had never experienced or gone through myself. One thing they said that struck me was that for people contemplating suicide it doesn't feel like a choice. They think this is the only option. I could imagine how someone suffering from severe depression could think that because the mind is very powerful, it can make you convinced that things aren't possible when they are, it can narrow your options so that you feel you've only one when you don't, it can make things up and pretend they're real when they aren't. Our minds are often not rational and as I learned from speaking to this person, depression is not what a lot of us may think it is which is a deep sadness. You feel nothing and find it incredibly difficult to care about things. You feel hopeless. And of course not every person who feels depressed contemplates suicide but those who do feel like it is the only way out. 

"Having a rough morning?
Place your hand over your heart.
Feel that?
That's called purpose.
You're alive for a reason.
Don't give up."

However I am not going to continue to talk anymore about depression, something I can honestly say I have never been through and so cannot give advice. All I know, from speaking to this person with first hand experience and my own reasoning, is that help is the answer, seeking someone or a service that will listen to you is vital. Depression can also lead out from suppressed feelings, angst turned inwards. Everyone says it but its true, don't suffer it alone when there are so many people out there who want to help you and can. You may not think you have the right to or that you're weird and won't be accepted but you are not a bad person for feeling this way or not feeling at all. Do not be ashamed or judge yourself for your own thoughts, there are many other people who have gone through the same thing and reaching out to someone professionally or otherwise in good faith will help you realise this but also hopefully put things into perspective and guide you towards progress.

"There is always hope.
The world is vast and meant for wandering.
There is always somewhere else to go."

I truly believe that suicide is not the answer. You might feel so weak and deceived by your mind that the world is a terrible place, nowhere to turn, nowhere to escape to except for death. This is so untrue. Firstly,  know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle. Sometimes we want to give up so badly but it is so important to persevere, just know that you CAN keep going no matter what has happened to you or is going on in your life, no matter where you are or what you think the the future holds. You can survive it. Think about yourself, think of all you've been through, all the happy times, the times you've looked in the mirror and yeah you've thought you looked good, the times you looked at someone with love and felt that incredible feeling or when you received it. Think of your dreams, your plans, the times you've felt proud or enthralled. Think of the whole range of emotions you've felt, think of the negative ones too and think of how you overcame them. Connect with yourself and realise that you've felt pain before, maybe this is the worst you've ever experienced but you will come through it. Pain itself is temporary, eventually time will heal and the pain will leave you. Strength. Strength. Strength.
To address the latter, you may feel hopeless, like the world is a terrible place. The spark of life has left and everything is dull. Look at the above quote and listen to this "Such wonderful things surround you". There is so much beauty in this world, so many amazing people and places, so many breath taking moments to be had, that to think there isn't is false and unjust to the world that is so busy and interesting. However I know a lack of perspective can get the better of us and we only see the crappy world in our mind or immediate situation, but lets broaden this tight perspective and stretch our imagination, realise that there is always a different route to go down and there will always be beauty in this world. Yes, I am not so naieve to think there isn't tragedy and problems but I am a big believer in change and if you find yourself bogged down on the negatives that exist in life, don't give up on it, why not put all your efforts into changing injustice in the world? If you're upset, hopeless about something you most certainly can't change then acceptance and embracing is necessary, changing one's attitude. Gratitude is so important. It can transform your life and bring a buzzing feeling to you about what's around you.Really look at everything in your immediate surroundings, taking in every single pigment of every single colour, every little detail we usually skim over. I do this in lots of places and I'm asking you now, why not give it a try? It will help.

"Worry is the deposit for a problem"

Do you ever look back on the past? Cringe or feel huge regret? Long for it to be like it was back then or just can't seem to leave it behind where it belongs? There is no point. We cannot change the past and what we've done, regret is useless and harmful. We cannot look into the future (we humans overestimate our confidence in knowing what lies ahead) and we don't know what's to come, nothing happens as you expect it will and YOU have the power to change it, take the power you have over your mind live in the present, if things aren't going well we need to try and find something positive to pull us through to a future we can make great.


So, friends, that is my appeal to you if you have ever, are, or may in the future contemplate taking your own life. Know that you are so much stronger than that and to refer back to Donal's case, I'd like to remind you, like he did, that life is precious. You are so ridiculously fortunate to be alive right now, everything else is a bonus but you have life, something so many don't have. Donal himself said he wished he's had even a few more months alive but he didn't have a choice, you may not think it but the choice is entirely yours. You are so fortunate and please remember this each and everyday. Pain is so unbelievably hard to bear sometimes but you are well able to. It will go away. Who knows what life will bring?

No matter who you are reading this, you may be young, old, white, black, overweight, underweight, loud, quiet, boy, girl, it doesn't matter. No matter who you are please use this post, my honour and sharing of what the great donal Walsh aimed to spread, as a sign, guide or reason to not commit suicide. You deserve this life and are strong enough to seek help and come through the other side which is happiness. 

Stay Strong.

Love,
Rachel! =)

Honesty

How do you feel about honesty? No, but how do you really feel about honesty? You don't want to be lied to, but if someone told you your outfit was truly horrendous you might change your attitude. Because honesty is kind of pushed around a bit,  it's thought correct in theory but then isn't practiced enough in the world. So is it right to be honest? What's the limit? Where should you and should you not be honest?

Obviously I can only speak for myself, but if there's one trait in a person I rank above any other it is genuine, sincere honesty. All this mysterious business doesn't intrigue me the way honesty endears me. I can't stand people being cunning and lying their way through life. It must be awfully sad, exhausting and stressful to constantly be trying to find happiness in a weave of lies. Then again, lying is so easy, isn't it? I can preach all I want but I've told my fair share. Sometimes we lie to ease tensions and possible pain for ourselves or others, other times we lie to make a story or our lives sound more interesting. But are we ever happy when we lie, truly happy? I know myself that honesty just makes me feel so much better, sometimes it can be terribly difficult but in the long run I feel more at peace with myself. Makes sense, doesn't it?

      I think some people are naturally more open and honest, and others more reserved. While I am drawn to people who aren't very secretive, I respect people who are more on the private side too. That comes down simply to who you are and how easily you trust a person. However, when it comes to people running their thoughts through an editing software before they utter a syllable and don't believe in speaking the truth when it matters, I simply can't understand it. So many people are afraid to speak their mind and point out when something's wrong. This is why there's so much corruption in the world, tell me I'm talking through my hat here and maybe I am because I don't watch the news, I know sweet damn all about current affairs but what I do know is that human beings have a tendency on all levels of society to keep their mouths shut or gloss over things, putting something forward in an around about way instead of stating the blatantly obvious facts. Its because we want to be like able, we don't like the sound of boos or the looks of annoyance and irritation. We want people to applaud us greatly and tell us we're great. We want a clap on the back and a proud smile. That's what it comes down to. We've also soaked up from the world that opinions can be wrong and moreover that its bad to make a mistake. Its instilled a great deal of fear in us to the point where we want to speak what's 'right' even though the only thing that's right is our gut feeling.

That's all jolly fine, yes honesty is vital when it comes to telling Pat Kenny that he gets paid too much or that politicians should carpool but what about telling your girlfriend she looks fat in those jeans? What about telling your best friend about the foundation lines? Is that right? I mean it is honesty, she really should get the size up and do a little more blending but its just so harsh. I know this type of honesty I fail at. I really feel when other people are upset or uncomfortable so when they look at me with those insecure eyes of desperation  what am I supposed to do? Lie clearly. And it makes them feel better, they never know otherwise. Maybe ignorance is bliss in those cases. Then there's the question of how someone will ever improve if you don't tell them it was a bad performance, that they deserve to know if you don't like them in that way. Its a difficult one and I suppose the best thing to do is train yourself to tell them the truth but in a compassionate manner. Maybe we're afraid to tell people the truth they won't like because we know it would hurt us if we found out. However isn't that just us needing to lose our sensitivity to the truth? The truth hurts sometimes but there's no point in evading it because we need to move forward from constructive criticism and grow. In saying that, there's no need to be rude or ridiculing about it but informing someone gently is probably the best for them and ye're relationship...

All in all, I am honesty's biggest fan. There's a lot of corruption in the world, a lot of lies, a lot of people out for themselves faking their way through life but they are not happy so don't try and beat them. You'll never be on top permanently. Always strive to be genuine and speak from the heart, because then you'll never be wrong. Most of all, make sure to be honest with yourself and connect to your core often. If you lie to yourself then you often just feel unhappy or self conscious and you don't know why because its very hard to realise and it almost buries itself deep inside of you. Remember, its perfectly OK to make a mistake and speaking what you feel is true is never wrong.

          What's your view on honesty?
                                                          Love,
                                                               Rachel=)