Forgiveness

I recently had to forgive someone, I had to push away the pride and the temptation to hold on and think over and over again of all the things that had happened before, the temptation to immerse myself into the injustice and the anger and the pain and the frustration. Right after I had done it, I tried to sum up my feelings in words and this was the best I could come up with...

"The necessity of forgiving is one of the most energising yet peaceful things I've ever experienced. It shines the light of prosperity on the future and remains one of the largest leaps in moving forward."

I believe forgiving is very much necessary. I would hope that no one, including yourself, has ever done anything that's hurt or made you angry towards them, but I realise that is very unlikely. Because with all the pain and confusion among humanity, its very easy to hurt people, its very easy to make mistakes and to do the wrong thing, and what's horribly annoying is that its so difficult to forget the wrongs we or others do, you can never go back and change the past. The next best thing to backwards time travel though is forgiveness, and unless you want to forever hold the demons of yesterday inside you, you are going to have to use that power, the power we all possess.

Do you agree with me when I say that you feel so, so energised after letting go of a grudge and forgiving someone for something they've done to you? I felt like I had a new lease of life, all sluggish or laziness had departed and my eyes seemed to stay open more freely. It makes a lot of sense, you're removing weighty chains from yourself and allowing the negative energy and thoughts to be dropped. Not only have you shared compassion and kindness to another by forgiving them (which adds to the positive energy), but you've performed a hugely compassionate and kind act for yourself. The energy makes you feel younger and like you're starting afresh. Its beautiful.

At the same time, I think you feel an immense sense of serenity along with that new found energy.You have made peace with yourself, the other person and what's happened before. And one of the huge benefits of forgiveness is that you have decided that another person's problem will not become your problem. Forgiving them loses all ties with that negative place they were in and the negativity they tried to instill in you. The peace you feel is like one that cannot be stirred or shifted because you took the power and made the decision to go out and achieve it.

You can't talk about forgiveness without mentioning its impact on your future. When you've successfully forgiven someone to their face or even in your mind, you have created a sense of hope in the both of you. And hope is a precious thing. You feel excited and ready for what the future brings after this cleanse and all your worries ease. Essentially, you become happier because you can now move on, and one thing we humans love is progress. Its like taking a deep breath in and continuing to walk down the path you had previously been standing still on, constantly glancing back at a dark and winding road that you could never walk again. "To forgive is to move forward", so if you want to move forward in your life, move on to new and happy experiences then forgiveness will have to play a huge role.

And if you still can't bear to make that other person feel even slightly less guilty or unhappy by forgiving them then remember how vital forgiveness is to yourself. It is not all about them, you are doing it to free yourself from them and what they've done to you. Don't let what they did hurt you even further. Choose to be happy.

On another note, make sure to forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made! We can be so hard on ourselves and since you're always around yourself, its important that you are kind and loving to your human clumsiness. 

So! I'm going to ask you to do two things before clicking out of this post, 

(a) Forgive someone in your life for something they've done to you. Remember, you really need to feel it, if you just  say the words then, well, nothing's changed has it? Words mean nothing without feeling.

(b) Forgive yourself for something you've done in the past. You are only human and should not feel in any way resentful towards yourself or less of a person, for making mistakes.

Try and sum up how you feel when you've done the two tasks and embrace the feeling because its one of the best!

Love,

Rachel! =)

Celebrities

         Ah Celebrities. I must admit out of all the thoughts I have per day, the things I question and the conclusions I come to, until last night I had never properly pondered on this thing called "celebrity culture".
What happened last night you might ask? Well, I attended my first concert! Yay!!! And it was a Beyonce one which was great! The propaganda ( that's probably not the right word), lets say hype, which greeted us in the form of posters, t-shirts of the "Queen" smoking cigars (GANGSTER) and videos of her modelling for H&M and of her steaming ad for her perfume "Heat" were totally messing with our heads as thousands of us gaped at the stage in anticipation. As it would be my first sighting of a "celebrity" I was legitimately expecting God himself in all his stereotypes to emerge on stage, like literally, our creator. He didn't, I'm sorry to report, but the screams around me indicated otherwise. And it just hit me, why do we worship these fellow human beings? I mean that's what I saw, an extremely talented, beautiful and confident human being. Nothing more than that, and as I zoomed out, starstruck, I realised that it wasn't the person on stage that had paralysed me in admiration, it was the hype. It was the screaming faces and energy, it was the photo shopped pictures and essentially the screen through which I had come to know her over the years. Do you know what all of these things had led me to believe? That she was better than me, that she and all the other people who transition so strangely into the celebrity kingdom were better than all of the people standing alongside me.

                                                                              Why?

      Why would any one person be better than another? What makes someone better than the person next to them? A particular talent? An attitude? Wealth? These reasons are pathetic to me. It is my firm opinion that we are all equal in this world, yes all, and we all deserve rights and to not be treated or made feel like we are inferior to anybody even if they can sing, are pretty or work their ass off to get where they are. I believe that everybody has the right to have their voice heard and I think people as a whole need to have a lot more faith in themselves as more than just someone ordinary, not particularly special. However, what I've come to discover is that we love worshipping. It explains a lot of religions and of course celebrities. We love idolizing and we like to think that there's something or someone bigger than us. Maybe we just love the feeling of awe.
That makes sense, doesn't it? We become desperately excited by being whisked off in wonder from a world we've made dreary. We all want to see something perfect so we don't question when the media shows us something and tells us "this is perfection". We've had our confidence and self esteem knocked down so may times from a much too wide variety of sources that we never think that we could be as beautiful or as talented as those on the red carpet.

   Do I think only people who have something to say should be in the public eye? People like Bono or others who actually want to change the world and use the power of their voice for good? No. Who am I to say what's a correct opinion to put out there, everyone has a right to freedom of speech (or should have anyway). I just personally don't understand how someone could  have a shallow status where they're famous for having a talent (or don't, they're just able to live with a camera on them) and they don't try and change something wrong in the world with their connections. It astounds me.

    However that's just me. What goes beyond me though and becomes a worldwide issue is how these "celebrities'" choices and privileges are causing injustice. Tell me, why do these people earn millions upon millions? Why is it OK for them to wear shoes and coats made of animals, spending several thousand on numerous outfit changes per show? Why do they deserve all the unnecessary luxuries when there are millions of people living in poverty? Why? What makes them so special? Nothing. Nothing makes someone so important that they suddenly develop the rights to do that to animals and other human beings.

   You know me by now though, so you'll understand as I end this on an uplifting note where we try and grasp what must be going though these famous folks' heads.The mind is such a complex matter and who knows how we would act if we were thrown into this insane world. They feel fear, their hearts pounding inside their chests, they feel pressure and they are also swept up in an empty ideal of what fame will bring to their life. Don't always be fooled in thinking that they are happier then you could ever be. Constantly chased and criticised? Expected to look a certain way? Immersed in materialism? I mean think about it, how many celebs commit suicide or at least suffer depression? How many turn to drugs and alcohol, self harm and eating disorders? How many hide it? We need to think of the back story of all these fellow human beings and not forgot that they are just like you no matter what TV tells you. And there is always hope. Hope that more people will join the few well known individuals who donate greatly to charity, stay genuinely humble, make a change to injustice and therefore retain their happiness. For the need in all of us to worship something, (a) there are so many things to become truly fascinated by if we only looked at life differently to the way we've been trained to, we shouldn't worship the hype surrounding something or someone because its false! (b) Though lowering your self esteem seems simple for people and the media to do, I guess all I can say is that we need to find a way to worship ourselves in a sense, not in an egotistical fashion but in a loving and faithful manner. Believing in ourselves, connecting with our gut/soul/ whatever you want to call it and being the best person we can be, knowing that we're not better or worse than anyone else. Strip away our behavior, external circumstances, disabilities etc and we're all equal.
 
                                                               Love,
                                                                 Rachel! =)

Quotations Sunday: Perceived Perfection

I observed a face book status yesterday evening, addressing the images of girls on weheartit and their ability to "depress" us inferior females. If you are not familiar with this website packed with a mixture of beautiful yet  ridiculously idealistic pictures of all things gorgeous in life, be warned that before you type in the URL, make sure to conjure a sufficiently high self -esteem.

The reason I entitled this Quotations Sunday "Perceived Perfection" is because I think we all have this idea that the grass is always greener on the other side or that other people are more perfect than us. (By Perfect, I'm referring to "traditional perfection", the complete and utter illusion which humans have created during their time here) And what's funny is that we use the word all the time, have a clear image of what the perfect legs, hair, personality etc are and yet there is no such thing as perfection as we know it. Nobody can be traditionally perfect every second of every day. 

Who takes these pictures????

And yes, on first glance, the ignorant depression kicks in as we look and realise they are counted as more perfect/ more attractive than you or me. However we must revert back to our wise quote which states that the reason we feel these insecurities when we see models in magazines and online is because we've seen ourselves at our "worst". We've seen ourselves after eating 4 bags of M&M's, in Penney's Christmas pyjamas with greasy hair and plonked in front of the TV. We've never seen these models at their worst or anywhere near it. We've only seen their "highlight reels" yet we illogically compare our "behind the scenes" if you will to their best takes. Why do our we do this? 

Even more so, we can't trust everything the media shows us. Their aim is to sell, its a business and therefore has no emotions or conscience. It doesn't care how insecure you become once you buy that yellow bikini, fake tan or those jeans. So why try and please something so emotionless? Don't lose your intelligence which you were born with to fall for their tricks including photo shop, lighting and other technological facilities I don't understand! You were born to question things, its something buried in all of us so let's question perfection as its perceived in our minds. If you ponder a little bit you'll discover that the only reason you want a flat stomach or a six pack is because someone else told you it was good, it was liked, it was perfect. What's even more important to discover is that you wouldn't be a fraction as insecure if you saw the behind the scenes of all the perfect people out there, if their photographs were taken using a crappy phone quality camera and if it wasn't ingrained in you that there was an image and characteristics to perfection and that only a select few can possess them.

All in all,  I hope you can realise that being a perfectionist will only lead to unhappiness and take away from the beauty of life. I really don't know why human beings decided to introduce the idea of perfection into the world and its brain. I doubt animals or plants know of it. However, if it was composed by people, it can be destroyed by people. Let's start with ourselves, accept that the media will never allow you to be perfect on its terms, it'll keep changing and besides wouldn't it genuinely be boring to be perfect? I mean really think about it.......I wouldn't pick it.

"The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection.

George Orwell "

So cheer up, you are beautiful! And before you dismiss this statement, think about where the denial is coming from. When you find the source(s) you will realize that they're pretty stupid!

                              Love,

                                                                                Rachel!=)

Quotations Sunday: The Idea of Society

Random, nameless girl?
This quote was a realisation for me, not a group of words with which I connected with but a sentence that made me think about what I mean when I use the term "society" flippantly when I talk, what we all mean. Because its very easy isn't it? When we have a problem with the workings of the world we explain it by saying "society tells us...", "a product of society", "you're not ugly, society is" etc. I've said it many times in my blog posts and I'll mention the word in many more but when you come to think about it, what is society?

Society is us. Yes you. No matter who you are reading this you are making up the collective term given to the world's population, the different groups of people filling the earth. So when we call society ugly, pressurising and messed up we often refer to it as a seperate entity to which we have no control over. This is totally false. You are as equal a member as any other in this immense and diverse club and so you have the power to change its rules and traditions as much as anyone can. It kind of ties in with this amazing quote:
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
Its easier said than done though, isn't it? We all know what we hate about the world and we all know the type of person we'd love to meet but we don't connect that we can play a role in changing this. If you don't like negativity or bitching then you can shorten its lease in the world by ceasing to partake in it. The media and society are often interlinked so if you feel "society" is ugly because beauty in its eyes is a size zero then the only contribution you can make is to never mock someone for being overweight, or never whine about not being the smallest size, stop liking pictures on tumblr which read "I need to get skinny for summer". Do you see what I mean? There are a billion other examples of course. The change you want to see is peanut butter eradicated? Stop eating it.

Addressing the second quote, (Holy Moly another quote within a quote post, this is like inception!) I feel the change you might want to see in the world applies with people too. You want to meet someone who's a great listener? Become one. You want to meet someone who is patient with you and kind? Be that person to someone else. Its important that we realise that we can't wait for other people to change the world for the better in our eyes. We have to take the first step. You don't have to arrive in as prince charming or God and fix everything that has ever been broken on the globe. You just have to try and follow your honest convictions everyday, if you fail one day just try again the next. Remember to fail better though (I'm integrating so many quotes into this post :P)

However instead of using this quote to beat yourself up or panic because you suddenly think you are the reason for wars, depression and bullying, think of it as an empowering post. Society is not one person or creature, it is you, it is me, it is all of us!  Hopefully you now know that you do not have to watch from the sidelines while a parade of society's products cruise by destroying the path. You can change the world today. You don't need a gun, a mind blowing speech or a license. Just do what is right no matter what.

What's your view on Society?
Love,Rachel!=)

A gratitude blog.

    We are unbelievably lucky. You're wondering why I'm including you since I don't even know your circumstances? What your life consists of? I don't need to. I'm talking about how lucky we both are to be alive. We may have many other things to be thankful for or nothing else at all. Regardless we are living so that will be the base of our thanks.

 Why even be thankful for things in our life, accomplishments etc? If you are a pure atheist who doesn't believe in thanking God or a higher being , maybe you've questioned the purpose of this exercise. However its much more than that. Learning the art of gratitude enables you to benefit from the things you do have as opposed to the things you don't. It gives you a passion for life and motivates you . Essentially, it brings you happiness. So its not just a case of being submissive and worshipping an entity up there, its for yourself.

    Thus ladies and gentlemen, in this blog I am to going to write down the main things that I am grateful for  in the hopes of brightening my day and hopefully inspiring you to do the same!

Things I am grateful for....

1. My life. To be alive in this world. I don't know why I'm here or where I'm headed after but I'm alive now and that's great!

2. My mobility. A great fear I have is paralysis. It would be the worst thing that could happen to me and so I am so glad that I have the ability to move freely to wherever I want.

3.My Vision.  I have my sight to be able to see the beautiful things the world has to offer and witness incidents take place and all the big events in my life. Our ability to see is overlooked each and everyday. What would you do without your sight? Just imagine it, total darkness no matter what. You are so lucky to be able to read these words, see these colours. Take advantage of that and really see what's around you, take in the pigment of the colours and observe closely the different sights when you're on holiday or just in an unfamiliar place.

4. My hearing. I felt this needed to be in a seperate section to vision because they're both so important individually. Most of us have a passion for music don't we? Imagine not being able to listen to your favourite song or just feel the way only music can make you feel. Or even certain noises, people talking to you. I think we take all our senses for granted much too often, every day basically.

5. My health. My general health. To be able to get up every morning with no pain or difficulty. To have no physical setbacks, its a blessing. I really should use this revelation to exercise more...

"The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.

Friedrich Nietzsche"

6. The people in my life. My family and friends who surround me. I always have someone to turn to and people to share jokes with, big events and everything really. Connecting with people and being able to share their emotions is kind of beautiful when you think about it. Not everyone is so lucky to have people in their lives with whom they have benefiting relationships.

7. My connection with myself. I've always been someone who is well connected with themselves. I check in with myself a lot to (no matter how cliche it sounds) ensure that I'm happy and following my honest convictions.  Some people aren't as fortunate. So many lose themselves by getting caught up in life and they live day by day without being completely honest with themselves.

8. My Opportunites and Circumstances: I don't know if everyone reading this is so fortunate but I feel so grateful that I am in a peaceful country, which is not at war or enduring a terrible crisis at the moment. I live in a first world country, which may be in a recession, but there are still so many opportunities out there for me. I'm also so grateful for everything I own, there are so many people out there with terrible circumstances in their lives but when you don't encounter them everyday you can forget how lucky you are. Also, we live in a modern age! We have amazing technology at our fingertips and there are so many more rights for women, gays and blacks than there were years ago. Its a great time to live in.

9. My talents. I may not be the best at everything I want to be and since I use to be a perfectionist this fact led me to forget about the things I was good at. We are all good at something and we should value those things! I believe we all have a purpose in the world and no matter what you will fulfill that purpose. Your talents contribute to your purpose which is exciting. So act on them even if you just have one and that one talent is polishing shoes or making buttons. Still counts.

10. My Imagination and dreams . Without them we'd all be pretty boring. Wouldn't we?

I feel like because life is so vast that I'm definately leaving something out or in ten minutes I'll think of something that really should have made my top ten and because it didn't it'll just vanish or something. ;)Despite this, here are my top ten things that I am grateful for in my life. The headings probably aren't that different to yours but the content sure is! I hope you can take the time now to ponder on what you're most grateful for in your life. Trust me it'll lift you out of a bad mood in an instant!

    Of course the question is, 
                                              What are you most grateful for?

                                                                                         Love,
                                                                                               Rachel=)

Judging others.

This is really creepy, but also hilarious.


At a guess, I would say that 99% of the world judge others, even in the most subconscious way.  It is a part of everyday life and every time you meet someone you categorise them and essentially judge them. However there is a big difference between openly judging someone, letting that initial image affect how you see them for the proceeding future and judging someone unwillingly, almost unbeknownst to you. The judgement just slips in before you can rationalise it out. You see, the thing about judging is is that it is so difficult not  to do. And its not a natural response. When we're born we have no intentions to judge. Kids don't judge other kids. It is clearly the media and society which has instilled this in us. However I believe that it is possible to take steps to eliminate judging others from our lives.



Imagine a world in which, instead of judging others, we accept ourselves. And self-acceptance can help us stop judging others.


Back to what I mentioned earlier, about people judging others openly and consciously, almost enjoying it and making no effort to stop. I believe that this is derived from insecurity and as the quote above says, a lack of self-acceptance. When people point out others on the street for looking "weird" or point people out for practically anything is that not a clear indication that they have issues with themselves and need other people to feel bad because they do. We've all been there, and if you haven't then congrats because you're pretty rare. In general though I would imagine that nearly everyone reading this has criticised someone because of the way they look, their beliefs etc. And looking back do you really think you were happy? If you're still doing it do you really think you are happy? I highly disapprove of judging others because everyone has a story, no one is going to be entirely what you judge them to be. We're much too complicated than that. 

I also feel that judging people holds yourself back in life too. If you judge other people for failing school, making loads of noise in a church or wearing a lipstick that's too dark then I am convinced you will hold an underlying fear of doing those things as well.  A lot of judgemental people I know are also very self- conscious, a feared and jittery people. I'm not surprised either. You're so immersed into the judgement circle that you can't forget other people's opinions of you when you stand up to speak. To me, Judging others, like hate, is another classic example of something that is deemed normal in society but still isn't right. Just because everyone else does it doesn't mean you can't be the first to eliminate it from your life. 

Unfortunately, I still judge people. However I have progressed a lot further into the subconscious realm of judging. Its still unfair but at least I'm aware of it and try to prevent it from going any further than an initial split second. And to be honest I feel a lot happier and I've kind of forgotten that people judge me every moment of every day. The thought and the pressure just vanishes. I'm also confident that one day I can forget judging other people entirely because I care so much about it.

Also, to all of us who hold a fear of being judged, are afraid to act a certain way or wear a certain thing because you're worried of what people might think just know that its their problem not yours. They're people just like you and they have no power over you. I know looks and sneers especially can tear you down along with words and such but its just an illusion in your mind that's blowing them up to be more frightening than they are. All they are are unattractive expressions of pain and insecurity. Haha, don't judge them for it!;)

So I am putting a task to all you readers out there, to just give me this week, until next Friday where you try to not judge a single soul. Where you try to think about how you don't know their story and ask yourself how it would make you feel to be judged on your appearance, morals, walk etc. See how you feel at the end of it. 

There are some great quotes on Judging so I'l leave ye with a few.

"Go ahead. Judge me. Just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life."

"Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are."

"Don't judge me. There's a reason I do what I do, there's a reason I am who I am" 

"When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge."

Love,
               Rachel!=)