Quotations Sunday: Kindness

What do you think? Nodding of the heads, sudden epiphany's, immense denial? I'm not sure, all I know is that I think this quote is so true, so true but so terribly difficult to follow. You see, it almost says it itself  "everyone is fighting a hard battle" and because of that, kindness doesn't always come naturally to us to bestow on others.

But we should, lets start with that. I have only realized recently the huge importance of compassion and mercy when it comes to those we meet, know and love. You can't see them or sometimes even feel them but we all have our problems, some have big and others small. We're all vulnerable and trying to make sense of this place which we were brought in to. No instruction leaflet, no tour guide. Obstacles and difficulties are bound to arise. So while it is true that you could turn the quote and claim that you have your own problems so how are you supposed to take note or acknowledge somebody else's, however maybe you could turn it around and say that your own problems give you a deeper empathy and understanding for other people. 

And it is possible, yes it can be so easy to lose your temper or become annoyed but we still should all strive to be kinder in our everyday lives to everybody. "But what about that one in my class who's rotten to me?", "What about my Ex?" Yeah, them too. They all have their battles and their behavior doesn't always coincide exactly with how they're feeling inside. If we don't realize that, then we're instantly placing a load of pressure on ourselves to make our behaviors 'perfect'. Do you want that for yourself?

"Compassion and Tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength"

Believe me, this is a note to self as much as a preach to you but no matter how annoying someone is, try and see things from their point of view. You'll be happier too because it never makes you feel good truly to bring negativity into the world. You might lose your edgy-oh-you're-so-cool-with-your-humorous-way-of-insulting-and-pointing-out-someone's-flaws reputation and you might even be thought of as weak for being nice and not giving up on people or just generally being empathetic and humane. However bear in mind that all you have at the end of the day, at the end of your life, is your character, your mind, your soul. You won't have that friend or be with that gang forever. The laugh they pay you shouldn't compensate for the hurt you've caused the other person and even more it won't last more than a few minutes. A strong character will last forever and d'you know what? I've found that people respect you more in the end for sticking by your morals. Set an example for people who just spew unkindness, its hope for everyone, most importantly them.

This quote means a lot to me because its a constant reminder that no matter how much I think I know about someone I'll never know who they truly are. I might know the events of their past but never how much they may have affected them and changed them. I haven't felt everything they've felt, thought every thought they've thought so I will never know them. And neither will you. What is safe to say is that they are "fighting a hard battle" and not often an obvious one. Kindness is the way for them and yourself. If you think about it, anger and annoyance (we all experience it) is a very simplistic reaction to human behavior. Does it ever help? Not really because even somebody who's done something wrong doesn't deserve to be made feel smaller than they already do. I understand "always" is a strong word and a tricky one to obey, but to every extra person you're kind to, you are becoming a soldier helping them in and making their battle a little easier to win. I firmly hold the belief that people are good and vulnerable. That to me is beautiful.

Agree with this week's quote?

                                                           Love,
                                                              Rachel=)

Debating/ Methods of Arguing.

 For anyone who doesn't know, this is an activity where people are given a motion or topic followed by a side or opinion to fight. There are two sides, the Proposition and the Opposition and depending on which side you're on you cannot accept the other side's points and must shoot them down, essentially in an effort to make your opinion win. I genuinely tried to keep that objective. 

However as you can tell from my initial statement that is very difficult for me because I have many reasons for disliking the hobby and have my own views on arguing.

I took part in my school's debating society for a few years. When I was 13 and 14 I liked it a lot but upon returning to it this year I found that I had changed immensely since then. I looked at the whole game with completely new eyes. You see, I'm a very righteous person. If I see something occurring which I think is wrong I can't sit by and watch it happening. I cannot fight for something that I don't believe in. And since in debating you are given an opinion to argue, regardless of how you truly feel on the matter, it obviously isn't going to settle with me. 

I think my first problem with debating is that I feel opinions are extremely valuable and deserve the utmost respect. My moralistic personality doesn't comprehend how you can let go of your own opinion so easily. There's a process you go through in forming an opinion. You look at both sides, weave in emotions and passions to produce the final product. Its important to me. So when debaters give up their opinions and change sides so quickly alarm bells go off in my head. I think its an insult to one of the most vital and driving forces in the world.

As I am righteous I also disagree with glorifying what you feel is wrong. What I mean by that is I feel  with debaters and lawyers its more about how the person fights the case rather than the point or topic itself. Do you see where I'm coming from? If the person fighting is particularly skilled and talented then it takes away from the points they are giving. What is wrong may triumph just because the person arguing that side or for that person was better than the individual working for what was right.

And now for what I've only concluded recently, a practice I still have to perfect. This my friends, is the art of arguing. For any debaters (who have not stopped reading this to write me a strongly worded comment), let me tell you something you may not have been aware of. When you shout and become aggressive while fighting your point you have instantly failed in your attempt to convince anyone to believe in what your saying. This is true of all arguing. Just think about it for a second, when someone raises their voice to you and is so bull- like determined to get their point out there and inflicted on you, how do you respond? Its our natural reaction to become defensive and argue back, We close our mind and all we want to do is win the fight. This is why I hold the belief that when someone's expressing their opinion (no matter how much you may disagree with it) its important to keep and open mind and know that you don't always have to be right. If someone gives a point that makes you change your mind on a certain topic, its ok! Its not you being weak but actually very strong. We need to bring to the surface more of what is right and what is honest truth. Its not about our egos and needing to be victorious all the time, this is insecurity, its about letting go of yourself and being genuine, no matter what.

I hope you take this on board when you're discussing a topic in real life too, don't lower yourself by raising your voice, keep calm and smile. Discuss your point in a level headed manner because this confuses the other steaming person no end. It also makes for a more truthful opinion. Bear in mind that if you're confident in what you're saying you don't need to become flustered and start bellowing. 

I hope some debaters reading this will ponder on what I've said, you're much more convincing if you can be kind and admit to agreeing with some points of the other side. If you disagree with me please let me know!( I'm sure ye're well able) I just haven't found a positive attribute to the sport, I might one day:) And let us all move forward with our arguments being calm and productive because its very easy to shout louder than the next person but if you're right you don't need to!

What's your opinion on debating and arguing? 

Love,

Rachel!=)