Quotations Sunday: Perceived Perfection

I observed a face book status yesterday evening, addressing the images of girls on weheartit and their ability to "depress" us inferior females. If you are not familiar with this website packed with a mixture of beautiful yet  ridiculously idealistic pictures of all things gorgeous in life, be warned that before you type in the URL, make sure to conjure a sufficiently high self -esteem.

The reason I entitled this Quotations Sunday "Perceived Perfection" is because I think we all have this idea that the grass is always greener on the other side or that other people are more perfect than us. (By Perfect, I'm referring to "traditional perfection", the complete and utter illusion which humans have created during their time here) And what's funny is that we use the word all the time, have a clear image of what the perfect legs, hair, personality etc are and yet there is no such thing as perfection as we know it. Nobody can be traditionally perfect every second of every day. 

Who takes these pictures????

And yes, on first glance, the ignorant depression kicks in as we look and realise they are counted as more perfect/ more attractive than you or me. However we must revert back to our wise quote which states that the reason we feel these insecurities when we see models in magazines and online is because we've seen ourselves at our "worst". We've seen ourselves after eating 4 bags of M&M's, in Penney's Christmas pyjamas with greasy hair and plonked in front of the TV. We've never seen these models at their worst or anywhere near it. We've only seen their "highlight reels" yet we illogically compare our "behind the scenes" if you will to their best takes. Why do our we do this? 

Even more so, we can't trust everything the media shows us. Their aim is to sell, its a business and therefore has no emotions or conscience. It doesn't care how insecure you become once you buy that yellow bikini, fake tan or those jeans. So why try and please something so emotionless? Don't lose your intelligence which you were born with to fall for their tricks including photo shop, lighting and other technological facilities I don't understand! You were born to question things, its something buried in all of us so let's question perfection as its perceived in our minds. If you ponder a little bit you'll discover that the only reason you want a flat stomach or a six pack is because someone else told you it was good, it was liked, it was perfect. What's even more important to discover is that you wouldn't be a fraction as insecure if you saw the behind the scenes of all the perfect people out there, if their photographs were taken using a crappy phone quality camera and if it wasn't ingrained in you that there was an image and characteristics to perfection and that only a select few can possess them.

All in all,  I hope you can realise that being a perfectionist will only lead to unhappiness and take away from the beauty of life. I really don't know why human beings decided to introduce the idea of perfection into the world and its brain. I doubt animals or plants know of it. However, if it was composed by people, it can be destroyed by people. Let's start with ourselves, accept that the media will never allow you to be perfect on its terms, it'll keep changing and besides wouldn't it genuinely be boring to be perfect? I mean really think about it.......I wouldn't pick it.

"The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection.

George Orwell "

So cheer up, you are beautiful! And before you dismiss this statement, think about where the denial is coming from. When you find the source(s) you will realize that they're pretty stupid!

                              Love,

                                                                                Rachel!=)

Body Image and Weight.

  

I would guess that the majority of the people reading this have an opinion on their weight. The way their body looks would mean a lot to them. I hope I'm wrong, but from experience I find that a person's weight and body is ridiculously over talked about. Nearly everyone has an opinion on their body shape and unfortunately most of the time this is a negative one.

I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again, the media. Its totally messed up. I'm entirely convinced that 100%, yes 100% of this whole opinion that the skinny look is best is derived from this corrupt communication network. If teenage girls(they're the main people affected by poor body image) didn't constantly see skinny models everywhere they wouldn't possess the burning desire to achieve this body type which looks so glamorous and a bearer of happiness. Men too have super fit body builder, muscly body types to idolise and the whole thing is just super pressurising, depressing and dangerous.

“To all the girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful one, its society who’s ugly.” -Marilyn Monroe.

People can go to desperate measures to lose weight, and often they don't do it the 'correct way'. The way that takes a while to see results and doesn't alter your diet immediately so you can get skinny in a week. Out of desperation to reach this impossible goal people starve themselves and make themselves desperately weak, for what? That's an easy question for me to ask when I'm not currently in the mindset that these people are in. For some reason the craving to become very thin or to just change your body to look "perfect" is so strong and overpowering that people just can't let it go.  In some cases eating disorders develop.

If you told a caveman about eating disorders I highly doubt he'd ever be able to comprehend the concept. They would have seen food as its meant to be seen, as a means of surviving. At what point did it change in our eyes? Now people have huge emotional attachments to a thing which is just supposed to nourish the body. This Mr. Flintstone type character wouldn't be able to understand why someone wouldn't eat when they're hungry and had food available, and all in the name of image? He'd laugh in your face.

That is an ignorant response though. I think that the way some people treat eating disorders is terrible. "Why don't they just go eat a cheese burger?", "But they're skinny, why can't they see that?" Its not as simple as shoving cakes down their mouths. Its a psychological condition that should stir pity in the soul, not anger in the mind. Patience can be lost when there is a lack of understanding and I know that well, but these people don't want to live the way they are, its like they're puppets to the eating disorder and can't escape its clutches. People need to take a little more care when dealing with anorexics/ bulimics because they're not as fortunate to have your attitude towards food and your own body.

"Don't be defined by your size"

I believe that a lot of perfectionists and people who were heavy as children can be particularly susceptible to eating disorders. Another problem is that every woman's apparent desire to be super thin is pretty out in the open and accepted. On tumblr and other sites like it, you often see picture quotes reading "I need to get skinny" and 'thinspiration' is commonplace. The fact that most people don't react when a girl says she feels fat or is trying to lose weight is more fuel to the fire. Human Beings also have an aid to their weight worries, the weighing scales. Woohoo! They have numbers to obsess over. And then there's calories. It almost turns into a sickeningly pleasing activity for people to count calories and weighing themselves everyday, however it only leads to depression because you're almost always disappointed standing on the scales and when you find out there's like 400 cals in a brownie.

I believe in honesty. So although this is pretty hard for me to do I will admit that I suffered from a very mild eating disorder/ weight obsession a year ago. Very few people know because I feel embarrassed that I ever could have been so 'weak'. I don't even feel qualified to say I suffered from one because I didn't lose enough weight to be anorexic or whatever but in my mind it was very strong. I believe it was because I went through a perfectionist period and that I've always been an over thinker (think and then think some more;)). I was also overweight as a child and I was always told this, even though I was very young. I never thought I could reach a weight that other kids in my class had. Its a sad thought for a child to have. Anyway, It was a tough year for me. I constantly counted calories and wanted to lose more weight. It was my biggest insecurity and I know how hard it  feels to try and move on. I should have but I didn't receive professional help. However, it is the greatest achievement I have ever made to say that I dragged myself over the finish line of recovery. I can now say with 100% conviction that I have not one ounce of an eating disorder/ body issues in me. The reason I'm telling you this isn't to blow my trumpet, but to maybe try and help others suffering from the same thing.

It took a lot of repercussions and stumbling backwards before I made it out the other end but what helped me was letting go of the perfectionist values I possessed. I grew emotionally  and became happier and more confident in other areas and this lead me to move forward with the problem, I genuinely don't know what else worked for me. It was simply me working hard at being happy. Another reason I don't like people knowing is because I don't want them to judge me on that, it bears no resemblance to who I am today. I have grown so much since then and have absolutely no issue with my weight (I'm being honest). Maybe you think I was being too personal telling anyone who reads this that information but I'm not ashamed of who I am, my past included. You shouldn't feel ashamed or weak because you're struggling or have struggled. I want people to know that from first hand experience I can tell you that eating disorders are not driven by attention-seeking  or just generally being annoying. Its society, perfectionism, remarks and various other truly complicated triggers.

To address people who are just insecure about their body, whether it be to eating disorder level or 'stereotypical  teenage girl level' all I can say is to try and really follow all the quotes that you agree with in theory, like the Marilyn Monroe one above, but can't act on. Once again I ask you to incorporate logic into the situation because if you're insecure about your figure, whatever you see in the mirror is more than likely irrational. Also build up a high self esteem and positive thinking attitude in other areas and your body issues should heal. Its hard, but its so possible.

This is such an important issue to me that no matter how much I say I'll feel like I'm leaving something out.
Remember, no one thinks about your weight a fraction of how much you do. Happiness is so much more important than the gap between your thighs or a flat stomach, which if you'll bear in mind you only want because of what you've been told, what society tells you. Don't be society's generic puppet. You're so much more than that.

       How do you feel about your weight?

                                                                        Love,
                                                                             Rachel!=)

Judging others.

This is really creepy, but also hilarious.


At a guess, I would say that 99% of the world judge others, even in the most subconscious way.  It is a part of everyday life and every time you meet someone you categorise them and essentially judge them. However there is a big difference between openly judging someone, letting that initial image affect how you see them for the proceeding future and judging someone unwillingly, almost unbeknownst to you. The judgement just slips in before you can rationalise it out. You see, the thing about judging is is that it is so difficult not  to do. And its not a natural response. When we're born we have no intentions to judge. Kids don't judge other kids. It is clearly the media and society which has instilled this in us. However I believe that it is possible to take steps to eliminate judging others from our lives.



Imagine a world in which, instead of judging others, we accept ourselves. And self-acceptance can help us stop judging others.


Back to what I mentioned earlier, about people judging others openly and consciously, almost enjoying it and making no effort to stop. I believe that this is derived from insecurity and as the quote above says, a lack of self-acceptance. When people point out others on the street for looking "weird" or point people out for practically anything is that not a clear indication that they have issues with themselves and need other people to feel bad because they do. We've all been there, and if you haven't then congrats because you're pretty rare. In general though I would imagine that nearly everyone reading this has criticised someone because of the way they look, their beliefs etc. And looking back do you really think you were happy? If you're still doing it do you really think you are happy? I highly disapprove of judging others because everyone has a story, no one is going to be entirely what you judge them to be. We're much too complicated than that. 

I also feel that judging people holds yourself back in life too. If you judge other people for failing school, making loads of noise in a church or wearing a lipstick that's too dark then I am convinced you will hold an underlying fear of doing those things as well.  A lot of judgemental people I know are also very self- conscious, a feared and jittery people. I'm not surprised either. You're so immersed into the judgement circle that you can't forget other people's opinions of you when you stand up to speak. To me, Judging others, like hate, is another classic example of something that is deemed normal in society but still isn't right. Just because everyone else does it doesn't mean you can't be the first to eliminate it from your life. 

Unfortunately, I still judge people. However I have progressed a lot further into the subconscious realm of judging. Its still unfair but at least I'm aware of it and try to prevent it from going any further than an initial split second. And to be honest I feel a lot happier and I've kind of forgotten that people judge me every moment of every day. The thought and the pressure just vanishes. I'm also confident that one day I can forget judging other people entirely because I care so much about it.

Also, to all of us who hold a fear of being judged, are afraid to act a certain way or wear a certain thing because you're worried of what people might think just know that its their problem not yours. They're people just like you and they have no power over you. I know looks and sneers especially can tear you down along with words and such but its just an illusion in your mind that's blowing them up to be more frightening than they are. All they are are unattractive expressions of pain and insecurity. Haha, don't judge them for it!;)

So I am putting a task to all you readers out there, to just give me this week, until next Friday where you try to not judge a single soul. Where you try to think about how you don't know their story and ask yourself how it would make you feel to be judged on your appearance, morals, walk etc. See how you feel at the end of it. 

There are some great quotes on Judging so I'l leave ye with a few.

"Go ahead. Judge me. Just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life."

"Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are."

"Don't judge me. There's a reason I do what I do, there's a reason I am who I am" 

"When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge."

Love,
               Rachel!=)