Becoming Adjectives

We've all been described at some point in our lives. You may have been called "smart" or "pretty", "fat" or "weird" but I think I'm correct in saying an adjective, one word, has been used in an effort to describe you. Now, let me ask you, have you ever thought about the effect this use of an adjective might be having on you? 

Let's take the positive ones first, If someone uses an adjective to describe you that you find complimentary it gives you a boost, doesn't it? However, I don't think we realise how long these words stay with us, how much pressure they can often create. You get called clever and from that moment on you want to keep up that opinion people have of you, you don't want to do badly in a test for fear you'd lose the title, you don't say anything that might be regarded as "stupid" or not "intelligent". I know myself that some refer to me as "confident", a huge compliment in my eyes and one that I would associate with myself in many scenarios, however I am not confident all of the time, I am not as straight forward, definite or written in stone as a word is. However in my focused mission to eliminate the various insecurities I possessed, I stumbled on this, very well hidden one. You see, I wouldn't want to appear as if I wasn't confident so I would avoid appearing awkward or weak. I wanted to be invincible but I wasn't. And I suppose that would be my example of trying to become an adjective. I wanted to always be confident instead of being Rachel, with a much broader range of feelings and mental states. I believe we should all strive to be confident but putting pressure on ourselves to be so all of the time is where insecurity and frustration lies. And the same applies for anything, let's say you're referred to as "the pretty one" so you almost feel an obligation to be so everyday.

And then there are the negative ones. I would hope that we could all rise above the negative adjectives we get thrown at us and instead of becoming them, become the opposite. However in some cases, people feel that if someone calls them "ugly" or "annoying" then that's all they are. They let the adjective become them and think it a lot more important and truthful then it actually is.

And so, I wanted to write this blog post because I think its a problem we could all have in our lives and may never realise it. What I would say is when people describe you in a word, think twice about the way you're going to take that comment. After all, it is just a word they've used to describe your surface layer, your behavior, what you give out to the world. There's a lot more to you then those few letters and  it may be totally inaccurate to who you know you really are.  We all have preferences on how we'd like to be described, some would love to be called intelligent, others would rank being called "pretty" higher. However, what I've learned is that we should never aim to be described a certain way. Whatever adjectives best describe you should be the most complimentary. Never do or say things just because its normal to what people in your social group or "category" do. You are an exceedingly complex individual who can never accurately be summed up, isn't that wonderful to think about?

Love,

Rachel! =)

Quotations Sunday: Perceived Perfection

I observed a face book status yesterday evening, addressing the images of girls on weheartit and their ability to "depress" us inferior females. If you are not familiar with this website packed with a mixture of beautiful yet  ridiculously idealistic pictures of all things gorgeous in life, be warned that before you type in the URL, make sure to conjure a sufficiently high self -esteem.

The reason I entitled this Quotations Sunday "Perceived Perfection" is because I think we all have this idea that the grass is always greener on the other side or that other people are more perfect than us. (By Perfect, I'm referring to "traditional perfection", the complete and utter illusion which humans have created during their time here) And what's funny is that we use the word all the time, have a clear image of what the perfect legs, hair, personality etc are and yet there is no such thing as perfection as we know it. Nobody can be traditionally perfect every second of every day. 

Who takes these pictures????

And yes, on first glance, the ignorant depression kicks in as we look and realise they are counted as more perfect/ more attractive than you or me. However we must revert back to our wise quote which states that the reason we feel these insecurities when we see models in magazines and online is because we've seen ourselves at our "worst". We've seen ourselves after eating 4 bags of M&M's, in Penney's Christmas pyjamas with greasy hair and plonked in front of the TV. We've never seen these models at their worst or anywhere near it. We've only seen their "highlight reels" yet we illogically compare our "behind the scenes" if you will to their best takes. Why do our we do this? 

Even more so, we can't trust everything the media shows us. Their aim is to sell, its a business and therefore has no emotions or conscience. It doesn't care how insecure you become once you buy that yellow bikini, fake tan or those jeans. So why try and please something so emotionless? Don't lose your intelligence which you were born with to fall for their tricks including photo shop, lighting and other technological facilities I don't understand! You were born to question things, its something buried in all of us so let's question perfection as its perceived in our minds. If you ponder a little bit you'll discover that the only reason you want a flat stomach or a six pack is because someone else told you it was good, it was liked, it was perfect. What's even more important to discover is that you wouldn't be a fraction as insecure if you saw the behind the scenes of all the perfect people out there, if their photographs were taken using a crappy phone quality camera and if it wasn't ingrained in you that there was an image and characteristics to perfection and that only a select few can possess them.

All in all,  I hope you can realise that being a perfectionist will only lead to unhappiness and take away from the beauty of life. I really don't know why human beings decided to introduce the idea of perfection into the world and its brain. I doubt animals or plants know of it. However, if it was composed by people, it can be destroyed by people. Let's start with ourselves, accept that the media will never allow you to be perfect on its terms, it'll keep changing and besides wouldn't it genuinely be boring to be perfect? I mean really think about it.......I wouldn't pick it.

"The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection.

George Orwell "

So cheer up, you are beautiful! And before you dismiss this statement, think about where the denial is coming from. When you find the source(s) you will realize that they're pretty stupid!

                              Love,

                                                                                Rachel!=)

Coolness

Really cool.....

Perhaps it is because I am a particularly awkward individual at the best of times, but I really can't comprehend the "swag" epidemic! And its not just that term alone, its the whole message and vision behind it. To me, a very fake vision. Because in my opinion, no person walking this earth is "cool". I think that everyone has a vulnerability about them and if someone appears extremely swagish (is that the word?) then I believe there is a huge pretence element involved. 

You see, my logic with the whole "vulnerable" thing is that as human beings our whole existence is based off of confusion. We don't have a freaking clue why we're here, what we are, what the purpose is, what a purpose is and much, much more. All we have to believe is what we've been told so we are not 100% invincible. We've all experienced embarrassment, awkwardness and feeling uncomfortable with oneself so  even 50 cent above and all the other 'cool' gangster rappers have a vulnerable side and raw human feelings. To think about it on a more relatable level, those groups at work or in school who are the "cool crowd" are composed of people who are a lot more complex than the title "cool" denotes. They mightn't even realise that they're seen as cool from your perspective and if they do think they're better than everyone else and have the word "loser" in their vocabulary then they're putting up a huge amount of bravado to mask their insecurity.

I suppose my huge opposition to pressure of any kind plays a part in my opinion too. Why? you may ask. Well, if you think about it, when people try and be smooth and I'll say it again cool, you can see the pressure not to trip when they're swag walking or stumble over their words. If you do something awkward, have the confidence to embrace it. These said people are essentially trying to be something they're not. 

"Nothing is ever as it seems"

A fact, if ever there was one. Appropriate in this post because cool individuals are not always as they seem to be. This is probably the most original advice ever but you don't have to change yourself to fit in with the cool kids. Don't smoke to be cool because smoking isn't as it seems, all sexy and french. It ruins your lungs and health. Drugs? Bit of fun? Cool? But they're lethal too. And I suppose what I want to put across is that you shouldn't do something with the sole purpose of being cool, appearing cool.  Nothing is ever as it seems and you'll never feel cool for smoking or drinking too much. You'll just look cool for a split second to someone who is also trying to be cool and hide their insecurity, which is their inability to ditch the desire for swag. Do you see what I mean? If you try and act cool to the different people you meet and you get in with the 'it' crowd then how are you going to make true relationships with people who think you're someone you aren't? You're missing out on great friendships with people who would have been your friend, not your coolness' friend but yours.

So yeah! Forget this whole notion that you have to be cool guys, or more importantly let's use the word another way. Cool is now given to someone who is being themselves because that's a very difficult thing to do. Following trends and the crowd isn't. Essentially, don't allow someone else to tell you what's cool, develop your own meaning for the word and never look down on anyone. We can be honest instead of cool and most importantly, happy! :D

Love,

Rachel!=)

Confidence and Speaking Out!

Confidence is a topic which I am very interested in and I think it is much more complex than people make it out to be. I love the image I used above because its a perfect description of how I feel on the matter. However, before I go into that lets start with the basics.

What is Confidence? We all pretty much know what it is. Its being sure of the truth of something, being secure and being able to rely. Self-confidence is the belief in yourself that you are capable, to have a high sense of  respect for yourself and (shock, horror, disaster:O) to love yourself. We all know people in our lives who we feel is confident, maybe we all even have our own definitions for it. You may even disagree with having confidence and dislike those who do. 

"Confidence is what it takes to stand up and speak. Confidence is also what it takes to sit down and listen"

Wise words from old Churchill, aren't they? Because I suppose most of us think that those people who are really outspoken and well able to voice their opinion are the only confident ones. Is that true? I don't think so. I mean I am that person who always puts their hand up in class and I adore speaking in public, my biggest belief and motto is "Speak Out". However if you don't have the security as well to be able to listen and respect other people when they speak then you possess a huge lack of confidence. People who aren't 100% confident in what they're saying often speak over and shoot down other people's expressed thoughts, they need to keep speaking to reassure themselves and others that what they're saying is correct. While saying this, there is also the possibility that they do have confidence in what they're saying and fighting for, they just mightn't have huge confidence in the outcome (basically they might be afraid that what is wrong will prevail)

So I suppose we can conclude that someone might look confident but in reality be faking it. Just because someone can be the life and soul of a party or scream all the time in class it doesn't mean they're confident. I can generally see right through people who are faking it, but it is difficult because its so complex and as the picture illustrates some days someone could be full of genuine confidence, high self esteem and not care about other people and their opinions and the next feel very self conscious and worthless.  

And what's also strange is that you could have total confidence in one part of you, like your intelligence, and then have zero percent confidence in another for example your appearance. As usual though its what you're insecure about that usually prevails and impacts on your life most.

"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle"

Like other traits and adjectives we've pinned to people, Confidence is one that is (usually) looked highly upon. People would generally like to think of themselves as confident, and those who don't can you please tell me why? Anyway this desire and high respect for self- assured folk makes others feel that they must appear confident all the time. If you are, then that's terrific but I think its important that we realise we don't need to be invincible and that its perfectly ok to ask for help and admit to weakness on our way to unbreakable confidence. Make sure you're always honest with yourself if you have an insecurity or doubt. If you don't then its not true confidence, its denial.

"Be yourself no matter what they say" That is easier said than done! Bear in mind all that I am in my teenage years which is stereo typically a time where a person goes on a very long search to find themselves (5 years in fact) and then you're supposed to miraculously become fully formed the day you turn eighteen. This isn't always possible for everyone and while I have a very strong sense of who I am, I've often wondered what that phrase "Be yourself" actually means? Like, who am I???? We've all thought this, correct? But deep down I guess we know who we are. The way we act naturally with close friends and family is the most accurate reflection of ourselves. However most of us find it very difficult to act in the same manner to every person we meet, and I suppose confidence ties in majorly with discovering and being who you are. Admit to liking Justin Bieber even if everyone else hates him, do what makes you happy even if they're "weird" because bear in mind those who question or dislike you because of it have their own problems and vulnerability. They've all felt terribly insecure and awkward, suppressed their own desires and wishes because of insecurity. THEY WERE BORN NAKED AND CRYING. :P

"You are beautiful when being yourself, you don't need others to accept you, you just need to accept yourself"

And finally, I would like to address the importance of speaking out. I am an extremely righteous person and I love public speaking, that combination means that I voice my opinion a lot. I totally believe in it. Why be silent when you have something to say? I'm all about honesty and speaking the truth and I think  much too many people are afraid of doing so. At a talk I attended the other day, the point was brought up that women lack the confidence to put themselves out there and the whole belief that women who speak their minds are bitches. This is ridiculous to me and I think it stems from the whole problem that women are almost encouraged to be insecure and self- conscious "You don't know you're beautiful, that's what makes you beautiful" A One Direction lyric. Teenage fan girls (and there are a lot of them)  then feel like rejecting compliments and lacking in confidence is a good thing and after a while of behaving this way, you begin to feel this way. Lacking in confidence can only bring you unhappiness. People in general also put other people's problem of judging onto themselves. If someone judges you critically for saying what you feel that is their problem  not yours. If anyone ever tells you or makes you feel that being confident is wrong that is because they are lacking in confidence and are jealous. Don't become them, you need to move forward because that is their only hope too.

So peeps, "never be silent about things that matter" and "speak the truth even if your voice hurts"

A song that I really connected to and truly motivates me to be myself and speak out is "Read all about it part 3" by Emeli Sande She's really great and I highly recommend clicking the link and giving it a listen!

And your pondering question is...

Are you confident?

Love,

Rachel!=)

Body Image and Weight.

  

I would guess that the majority of the people reading this have an opinion on their weight. The way their body looks would mean a lot to them. I hope I'm wrong, but from experience I find that a person's weight and body is ridiculously over talked about. Nearly everyone has an opinion on their body shape and unfortunately most of the time this is a negative one.

I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again, the media. Its totally messed up. I'm entirely convinced that 100%, yes 100% of this whole opinion that the skinny look is best is derived from this corrupt communication network. If teenage girls(they're the main people affected by poor body image) didn't constantly see skinny models everywhere they wouldn't possess the burning desire to achieve this body type which looks so glamorous and a bearer of happiness. Men too have super fit body builder, muscly body types to idolise and the whole thing is just super pressurising, depressing and dangerous.

“To all the girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful one, its society who’s ugly.” -Marilyn Monroe.

People can go to desperate measures to lose weight, and often they don't do it the 'correct way'. The way that takes a while to see results and doesn't alter your diet immediately so you can get skinny in a week. Out of desperation to reach this impossible goal people starve themselves and make themselves desperately weak, for what? That's an easy question for me to ask when I'm not currently in the mindset that these people are in. For some reason the craving to become very thin or to just change your body to look "perfect" is so strong and overpowering that people just can't let it go.  In some cases eating disorders develop.

If you told a caveman about eating disorders I highly doubt he'd ever be able to comprehend the concept. They would have seen food as its meant to be seen, as a means of surviving. At what point did it change in our eyes? Now people have huge emotional attachments to a thing which is just supposed to nourish the body. This Mr. Flintstone type character wouldn't be able to understand why someone wouldn't eat when they're hungry and had food available, and all in the name of image? He'd laugh in your face.

That is an ignorant response though. I think that the way some people treat eating disorders is terrible. "Why don't they just go eat a cheese burger?", "But they're skinny, why can't they see that?" Its not as simple as shoving cakes down their mouths. Its a psychological condition that should stir pity in the soul, not anger in the mind. Patience can be lost when there is a lack of understanding and I know that well, but these people don't want to live the way they are, its like they're puppets to the eating disorder and can't escape its clutches. People need to take a little more care when dealing with anorexics/ bulimics because they're not as fortunate to have your attitude towards food and your own body.

"Don't be defined by your size"

I believe that a lot of perfectionists and people who were heavy as children can be particularly susceptible to eating disorders. Another problem is that every woman's apparent desire to be super thin is pretty out in the open and accepted. On tumblr and other sites like it, you often see picture quotes reading "I need to get skinny" and 'thinspiration' is commonplace. The fact that most people don't react when a girl says she feels fat or is trying to lose weight is more fuel to the fire. Human Beings also have an aid to their weight worries, the weighing scales. Woohoo! They have numbers to obsess over. And then there's calories. It almost turns into a sickeningly pleasing activity for people to count calories and weighing themselves everyday, however it only leads to depression because you're almost always disappointed standing on the scales and when you find out there's like 400 cals in a brownie.

I believe in honesty. So although this is pretty hard for me to do I will admit that I suffered from a very mild eating disorder/ weight obsession a year ago. Very few people know because I feel embarrassed that I ever could have been so 'weak'. I don't even feel qualified to say I suffered from one because I didn't lose enough weight to be anorexic or whatever but in my mind it was very strong. I believe it was because I went through a perfectionist period and that I've always been an over thinker (think and then think some more;)). I was also overweight as a child and I was always told this, even though I was very young. I never thought I could reach a weight that other kids in my class had. Its a sad thought for a child to have. Anyway, It was a tough year for me. I constantly counted calories and wanted to lose more weight. It was my biggest insecurity and I know how hard it  feels to try and move on. I should have but I didn't receive professional help. However, it is the greatest achievement I have ever made to say that I dragged myself over the finish line of recovery. I can now say with 100% conviction that I have not one ounce of an eating disorder/ body issues in me. The reason I'm telling you this isn't to blow my trumpet, but to maybe try and help others suffering from the same thing.

It took a lot of repercussions and stumbling backwards before I made it out the other end but what helped me was letting go of the perfectionist values I possessed. I grew emotionally  and became happier and more confident in other areas and this lead me to move forward with the problem, I genuinely don't know what else worked for me. It was simply me working hard at being happy. Another reason I don't like people knowing is because I don't want them to judge me on that, it bears no resemblance to who I am today. I have grown so much since then and have absolutely no issue with my weight (I'm being honest). Maybe you think I was being too personal telling anyone who reads this that information but I'm not ashamed of who I am, my past included. You shouldn't feel ashamed or weak because you're struggling or have struggled. I want people to know that from first hand experience I can tell you that eating disorders are not driven by attention-seeking  or just generally being annoying. Its society, perfectionism, remarks and various other truly complicated triggers.

To address people who are just insecure about their body, whether it be to eating disorder level or 'stereotypical  teenage girl level' all I can say is to try and really follow all the quotes that you agree with in theory, like the Marilyn Monroe one above, but can't act on. Once again I ask you to incorporate logic into the situation because if you're insecure about your figure, whatever you see in the mirror is more than likely irrational. Also build up a high self esteem and positive thinking attitude in other areas and your body issues should heal. Its hard, but its so possible.

This is such an important issue to me that no matter how much I say I'll feel like I'm leaving something out.
Remember, no one thinks about your weight a fraction of how much you do. Happiness is so much more important than the gap between your thighs or a flat stomach, which if you'll bear in mind you only want because of what you've been told, what society tells you. Don't be society's generic puppet. You're so much more than that.

       How do you feel about your weight?

                                                                        Love,
                                                                             Rachel!=)

Judging others.

This is really creepy, but also hilarious.


At a guess, I would say that 99% of the world judge others, even in the most subconscious way.  It is a part of everyday life and every time you meet someone you categorise them and essentially judge them. However there is a big difference between openly judging someone, letting that initial image affect how you see them for the proceeding future and judging someone unwillingly, almost unbeknownst to you. The judgement just slips in before you can rationalise it out. You see, the thing about judging is is that it is so difficult not  to do. And its not a natural response. When we're born we have no intentions to judge. Kids don't judge other kids. It is clearly the media and society which has instilled this in us. However I believe that it is possible to take steps to eliminate judging others from our lives.



Imagine a world in which, instead of judging others, we accept ourselves. And self-acceptance can help us stop judging others.


Back to what I mentioned earlier, about people judging others openly and consciously, almost enjoying it and making no effort to stop. I believe that this is derived from insecurity and as the quote above says, a lack of self-acceptance. When people point out others on the street for looking "weird" or point people out for practically anything is that not a clear indication that they have issues with themselves and need other people to feel bad because they do. We've all been there, and if you haven't then congrats because you're pretty rare. In general though I would imagine that nearly everyone reading this has criticised someone because of the way they look, their beliefs etc. And looking back do you really think you were happy? If you're still doing it do you really think you are happy? I highly disapprove of judging others because everyone has a story, no one is going to be entirely what you judge them to be. We're much too complicated than that. 

I also feel that judging people holds yourself back in life too. If you judge other people for failing school, making loads of noise in a church or wearing a lipstick that's too dark then I am convinced you will hold an underlying fear of doing those things as well.  A lot of judgemental people I know are also very self- conscious, a feared and jittery people. I'm not surprised either. You're so immersed into the judgement circle that you can't forget other people's opinions of you when you stand up to speak. To me, Judging others, like hate, is another classic example of something that is deemed normal in society but still isn't right. Just because everyone else does it doesn't mean you can't be the first to eliminate it from your life. 

Unfortunately, I still judge people. However I have progressed a lot further into the subconscious realm of judging. Its still unfair but at least I'm aware of it and try to prevent it from going any further than an initial split second. And to be honest I feel a lot happier and I've kind of forgotten that people judge me every moment of every day. The thought and the pressure just vanishes. I'm also confident that one day I can forget judging other people entirely because I care so much about it.

Also, to all of us who hold a fear of being judged, are afraid to act a certain way or wear a certain thing because you're worried of what people might think just know that its their problem not yours. They're people just like you and they have no power over you. I know looks and sneers especially can tear you down along with words and such but its just an illusion in your mind that's blowing them up to be more frightening than they are. All they are are unattractive expressions of pain and insecurity. Haha, don't judge them for it!;)

So I am putting a task to all you readers out there, to just give me this week, until next Friday where you try to not judge a single soul. Where you try to think about how you don't know their story and ask yourself how it would make you feel to be judged on your appearance, morals, walk etc. See how you feel at the end of it. 

There are some great quotes on Judging so I'l leave ye with a few.

"Go ahead. Judge me. Just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life."

"Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are."

"Don't judge me. There's a reason I do what I do, there's a reason I am who I am" 

"When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge."

Love,
               Rachel!=)

    

The need to be different.

 I'm going to say it, I'm going to use the word hipster. My definition of such a word is someone who tries to be different and is super proud to call themselves weird to the point where they randomly scream or say something "random" like "I love cheese" or "Potato" followed by "I'm so weird" with a triumphant grin.
I personally don't get it and I feel like it is a growing and pressurising epidemic.
      I remember when I was younger,  My drama group were all trying to come up with really different ideas to stage a production. "Oh no we couldn't perform in somewhere as boring and ordinary as a stage?! That would be madness, I mean when you come to think about it, isn't it a bit mainstream to stand on our  two feet, that's been done before!" So anyway that was what was running through all our minds until one guy said "why does it have to be different? Why isn't it OK sometimes to be the same?" And I remember agreeing with him at the time and I still do today because essentially to me being different and unique is in all of us naturally, you don't need to force it. In this case, while original ideas were great to use to add to the production, we didn't need to have a drag-queen Hamlet or rack our brains stress fully, we could use a traditional stage and setting but make it different with our acting.
    And I feel like life is the same. We don't need to put that pressure on ourselves to do something different or say something really out there just so everyone will think we're unique. If we're really being ourselves, we'll do and say what we want to, whether it be generic or revolutionary, but the way we do it is what makes us special.
  I would also just like to make a point that I think a lot of fearful people, who very much go with the crowd like to label anyone who dares to stand out and act on what they believe in  as 'hipsters' and that is certainly not where I'm coming from. I believe hugely in being different, what I don't believe in is being different just to be different.
       I think that you know yourself deep down when you're trying to be different and isn't that kind of clear that you do care what people think of you? We all have this notion that people who really care what people think of them are quiet, fearful and try to blend in so no one picks them apart but it only recently dawned on me that if you try and stand out just to stand out and essentially act like a hipster then you're just the same as the mainstream, crowd- pleasers.  Then you are just the same as the majority of the world who can't let go of others' opinions on them. What's actually different then is forgetting that need to be different, just like forgetting the need to be the same because  both lead to you feeling pressurised and bad about yourself.
              I suppose as I've written this thought process down and hopefully by you reading it we can come to the conclusion that hipsters aren't very different after all, their motives are just the same as someone who tries to be like everyone else. What I feel would be a useful exercise for us all would be to identify whether we like a certain thing because of what it brings to our life or because its different and out there or on the other side of the coin, 'mainstream'. It might take a weight off your shoulders to ditch the worry in your head of having to come up with an unbelievably original idea for something and instead go with your gut instinct. You'll always think of something much better.
                             
Answer these questions in the comment section below:
1. Do you think its a good thing to be my definition of a hipster? I'd love to know your reasons! Maybe you could show me something I never thought of?:)
2. Think of someone you know who naturally stands out by being themselves, what is it about them which is so unique?
                                 
                                                                                 Love,
                                                                  Rachel.=)
                                                                            

Behavior: Attractive and Unattractive.

    In this post, I want to touch on how certain portrayal's of insecurities are likable to  people and how other displays repel.But in General, I find that behavior is highly misunderstood.  
     If one person, we'll call him John, is very insecure about many parts of himself and those insecurities lead him to behave quietly, inwardly, in a way where he's constantly putting himself down and trying to please everybody then I can guarantee you that most people would like him and try to boost his confidence in himself. Am I right?
    Then if we take another example, Mary, who also has many insecurities, but as opposed to John, she acts in a loud manner, trying to put other people down to make herself just that little bit more satisfied with herself, constantly boasting herself or seeking compliments. Then we would more than likely give up on her, not bother to look deeper into why she's behaving this way or find the connection she has with John and treat her the same way. It is people like Mary that a lot of people dislike and find annoying. So what do we do? We ignore them or act negatively towards them which leads to a vicious circle of their poor attitude. 
    Essentially, I think its important that we try and review the people we find annoying in our lives and begin to attempt to understand that the way they act is not always the most accurate reflection of how they're feeling inside. When we're rude or mean, I'm convinced it comes from hurt on the inside and I'll say it again, insecurity. I am no expert but I've come to this conclusion from my own thoughts and experiences. So to all who read this, that is your task. Peel away a few more layers from the 'Mary's' in your life because if you think about it, we're all so deep that how could the surface layer reflect to the world what our core really looks like?

Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue... and that, for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness.
Naomi Campbell 
                                                       
                                                                     Love,
                                                        Rachel!=)
My Video on this topic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6O1Uzb93WE