Jealousy

"A competent and self- confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity"

We've all been there pal. And it sucks. And its irrational. And its painful but its overwhelming. I don't mean overwhelming in a dramatic sense but if you can think back to a time when you were jealous then you might remember feeling paralyzed, numb, hurt or lacking in control. These feelings may have appeared in tiny segments or in huge bursts. Unusually, I did a bit of research (don't get impressed, it was just two definitions :P) and discovered that jealousy and envy are two different things! Envy is the emotion you feel when you want what someone else has and jealousy is the emotion you feel when you fear something or someone might be taken away from you. Interesting, isn't it? And the thought that struck me when I saw the definition of "envy" was that it wasn't very intense when people were envious of others' material possessions like clothes or cars and so envy was only a joking matter. However upon further consideration I realized that when we feel negative about other people having specific talents or personality traits, that too is envy. And that makes the whole word much more serious in my eyes.

You see, I'm careful not to make my old self sound like a green-eyed monster but let's just say if I had to pick which of the seven deadly sins fitted me best, I would have picked jealousy. Jealousy was abundant in my life as a child and early teenager and while I do admit this, I stress that it didn't occupy my life and I didn't walk around being envious of everything! I was jealous about certain things, envious of others and if I had to pick which word was more appropriate to 12 year old Rachel, I would say half and half. I contained envy for some people's personality traits and talents and jealous because I had a constant fear that I could easily be replaced! This insecurity issue of mine, however, have I devoutly gone about changing in the last year or so. I'm not free of it entirely but its very rare now that I feel the initiations of jealousy/envy rise up inside of me and on the odd occasion that they do I've managed to eliminate them with a single thought. 

Why have I just rambled about my puberty issues??? For a reason, my friends, for a reason. I wanted to address the impact jealousy and envy can have on your happiness, relationships and thus all over life.  I also wanted to clear up that with these particular emotions, like any you feel, you should not think on yourself negatively because of them. Its a vicious cycle and not true. Also, I want to discuss how Jealous or envy are not natural emotions. Hopefully, if I can conjure any god sent tips to aid you in eradicating jealousy/envy from your life, I shall! :D

Firstly, the impact these emotions can have on your life. I suppose the first thing to ask is when you have felt jealous, were you happy? It really doesn't matter what you define as happiness, I still highly doubt envy or jealousy is the key to it. For my definition of happiness, jealousy has no place. Because that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when jealousy has punched you in the face is one of the worst feelings in the world. Its like a gas that disperses and engulfs you and it encaptures your thoughts fully. Any logical explanation or possibility for analysing why you're feeling this way goes out the window and all you are left with is rapidly pent up emotion that you need to act on. So you do, either consciously or unconsciously. You're buzzing inside, trembling outside as you let the irrational jealousy formulate corresponding irrational words. You spit something nasty about your friend who did better in a test than you, you bitch about the girl who all the guys think is pretty, you jeer names at the boy who scored more goals in soccer practice. Though immersed in your pulsating vulnerability you didn't feel like you had any control in saying these things, you did. You composed the intent to make the other person feel as bad as you were feeling at the time. Does this mean you're a bad person? Of course not. You were hurt. Other individuals can't see deep inside the cauldrons of our emotions however, they only see the very surface and this leads to problems when it comes to jealousy. The emotion affects our relationships and can cause them to deteriorate. If we feel envious of our friends succeeding in things then our behavior towards them becomes less compassionate, more hostile, more aggressive, impatient etc, etc,etc. Not great ingredients for a growing relationship. Therefore, for our connections with other human beings leading to our happiness, we must learn to eliminate jealousy and envy from our stream of emotions. Don't bottle them up, that's the worst thing you can do and will just lead to subconscious communication of your jealousy. 

Now I want to address something I feel is very important. I know I felt as I admitted I used to be quite a jealous person that that was really bad. What a horrible trait that everyone would look down upon, no pity, just an ugly trait. But that's not how you should feel about the way you feel when you're jealous. Jealousy is simplified (like most things to do with our internal emotions) and called a sin or a bad trait to have. Don't feel like a sinner when you experience it though because its a lot deeper than that. Next time you feel either of the two emotions discussed, think and then think some more about their original source. Are you insecure in that area? Why? Is it completely irrational? And you'll realize that its just an unattractive expression of hurt. Don't get rid of jealousy to make yourself less of a sinner but to make yourself happier and to enable yourself to get more out of life.

And last but not least I want to share with you something I've been thinking about, how Jealousy/ Envy are not natural emotions. You wouldn't feel envious of a girl's skinny legs unless the media had plastered in your face skinny legs in a beautiful light, you wouldn't be envious of a friend earning a higher income than you if money didn't have such a high value of importance in the world we live in, so I suppose the question is was jealousy always so common place or is it a growing epidemic due to the rise in materialism and pressure to be a certain way? I'm not saying people in the 60's didn't have these things, I'm referring to the first human beings. Like were cavemen jealous of gucci watches?

Confidence, as the quote miles away up the page says, is the key to combating jealousy. Building up your own security will leave jealousy and envy no place to stay because then other people, their things, talents and opinions on you won't matter as much. Every time you feel jealous try and sink into a smile and remind yourself that you will always have something in you that's unique and incredible, no matter what other titles are stripped from you. There's something in you that can tackle every obstacle that comes your way. Thinking rationally on why you're jealous will leave you realising how silly you were for being jealous. Being independent is key for opposing jealousy, knowing you don't need anyone in your life is so empowering and liberating so if someone replaces or hurts you, you can console yourself with the fact that you are well able to be happy without them. 

Take the lighthearted approach, laugh at what you're beginning to feel jealous at. Don't get too serious about the whole thing and stop brewing over self pitying thoughts. 

Most of all, to combat jealousy and envy know that you are enough. What you possess is enough. Be grateful for the talents you have for gratitude is hands down one of the most important things in the world. Being grateful for what you do  have will push down jealous tendencies before they can erupt and cause disaster. Despite the fact that you're laughing/ scoffing at how cliche this is, know that you are so incredibly special and unique, you were put on this planet for a purpose and you will keep growing and growing for the better. Other people and words will tell you you're not enough because they have problems too. Rise above them and the hurt that would lead to you to becoming the green eyed monster and live happily.

Love,

Rachel! =)

Confidence and Speaking Out!

Confidence is a topic which I am very interested in and I think it is much more complex than people make it out to be. I love the image I used above because its a perfect description of how I feel on the matter. However, before I go into that lets start with the basics.

What is Confidence? We all pretty much know what it is. Its being sure of the truth of something, being secure and being able to rely. Self-confidence is the belief in yourself that you are capable, to have a high sense of  respect for yourself and (shock, horror, disaster:O) to love yourself. We all know people in our lives who we feel is confident, maybe we all even have our own definitions for it. You may even disagree with having confidence and dislike those who do. 

"Confidence is what it takes to stand up and speak. Confidence is also what it takes to sit down and listen"

Wise words from old Churchill, aren't they? Because I suppose most of us think that those people who are really outspoken and well able to voice their opinion are the only confident ones. Is that true? I don't think so. I mean I am that person who always puts their hand up in class and I adore speaking in public, my biggest belief and motto is "Speak Out". However if you don't have the security as well to be able to listen and respect other people when they speak then you possess a huge lack of confidence. People who aren't 100% confident in what they're saying often speak over and shoot down other people's expressed thoughts, they need to keep speaking to reassure themselves and others that what they're saying is correct. While saying this, there is also the possibility that they do have confidence in what they're saying and fighting for, they just mightn't have huge confidence in the outcome (basically they might be afraid that what is wrong will prevail)

So I suppose we can conclude that someone might look confident but in reality be faking it. Just because someone can be the life and soul of a party or scream all the time in class it doesn't mean they're confident. I can generally see right through people who are faking it, but it is difficult because its so complex and as the picture illustrates some days someone could be full of genuine confidence, high self esteem and not care about other people and their opinions and the next feel very self conscious and worthless.  

And what's also strange is that you could have total confidence in one part of you, like your intelligence, and then have zero percent confidence in another for example your appearance. As usual though its what you're insecure about that usually prevails and impacts on your life most.

"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle"

Like other traits and adjectives we've pinned to people, Confidence is one that is (usually) looked highly upon. People would generally like to think of themselves as confident, and those who don't can you please tell me why? Anyway this desire and high respect for self- assured folk makes others feel that they must appear confident all the time. If you are, then that's terrific but I think its important that we realise we don't need to be invincible and that its perfectly ok to ask for help and admit to weakness on our way to unbreakable confidence. Make sure you're always honest with yourself if you have an insecurity or doubt. If you don't then its not true confidence, its denial.

"Be yourself no matter what they say" That is easier said than done! Bear in mind all that I am in my teenage years which is stereo typically a time where a person goes on a very long search to find themselves (5 years in fact) and then you're supposed to miraculously become fully formed the day you turn eighteen. This isn't always possible for everyone and while I have a very strong sense of who I am, I've often wondered what that phrase "Be yourself" actually means? Like, who am I???? We've all thought this, correct? But deep down I guess we know who we are. The way we act naturally with close friends and family is the most accurate reflection of ourselves. However most of us find it very difficult to act in the same manner to every person we meet, and I suppose confidence ties in majorly with discovering and being who you are. Admit to liking Justin Bieber even if everyone else hates him, do what makes you happy even if they're "weird" because bear in mind those who question or dislike you because of it have their own problems and vulnerability. They've all felt terribly insecure and awkward, suppressed their own desires and wishes because of insecurity. THEY WERE BORN NAKED AND CRYING. :P

"You are beautiful when being yourself, you don't need others to accept you, you just need to accept yourself"

And finally, I would like to address the importance of speaking out. I am an extremely righteous person and I love public speaking, that combination means that I voice my opinion a lot. I totally believe in it. Why be silent when you have something to say? I'm all about honesty and speaking the truth and I think  much too many people are afraid of doing so. At a talk I attended the other day, the point was brought up that women lack the confidence to put themselves out there and the whole belief that women who speak their minds are bitches. This is ridiculous to me and I think it stems from the whole problem that women are almost encouraged to be insecure and self- conscious "You don't know you're beautiful, that's what makes you beautiful" A One Direction lyric. Teenage fan girls (and there are a lot of them)  then feel like rejecting compliments and lacking in confidence is a good thing and after a while of behaving this way, you begin to feel this way. Lacking in confidence can only bring you unhappiness. People in general also put other people's problem of judging onto themselves. If someone judges you critically for saying what you feel that is their problem  not yours. If anyone ever tells you or makes you feel that being confident is wrong that is because they are lacking in confidence and are jealous. Don't become them, you need to move forward because that is their only hope too.

So peeps, "never be silent about things that matter" and "speak the truth even if your voice hurts"

A song that I really connected to and truly motivates me to be myself and speak out is "Read all about it part 3" by Emeli Sande She's really great and I highly recommend clicking the link and giving it a listen!

And your pondering question is...

Are you confident?

Love,

Rachel!=)

Taking Risks

Taking risks are fundamental for progress in life yet we all find it difficult to undertake the tasks involved. I know I do. I'm in Transition Year in my school at the moment, twelve months where partakers take a look at life through a non-academic viewpoint and try new things. I became inspired to write this post based on a girl in my year (hello Heather:P) who is embarking on an 8 week exchange to France followed by school in the USA. Another girl headed off to be an Au Pair in France for 5 months. Fairly daunting isn't it? These are big risks to take, anxiety causing because there's an underlying fear of whether you'll enjoy it or not. What if you hate it? Risks breed questions. Much too many of them as well.

"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. –Chuck Palahniuk"

And there are many different levels of risk taking. You might take a risk and say something that you've always wanted to say to someone or you might join the army. An immense difference. So I suppose we could say that we take risks, whether minor or major, everyday. We're very familiar with the fear and adrenaline that often comes with them. Are they good things to experience? Some people think so, others don't. Some people are so afraid of taking risks that they live their lives in comfort zones. Its so easy to do, isn't it? I know in Acting it can be really difficult to push yourself to be ridiculous and in general life too we often find ourselves refusing to jump out of the circle of comfort we've created ourselves. I believe that jumping is the best approach to take, like a bandage if you do it slowly and consciously then its so much more painful and worse, so easy to stop and retreat, placing the plaster back onto the cut.

"It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win. – John Paul Jones"

    I think that they are vital. Yes, all risks come with the possibility of failing but isn't it better to fail then to be on this constant level of dullness. You never know what could happen unless you try and even if things do go wrong its experience. It was meant to happen. I guess another element of taking risks is confidence. You need to believe in yourself that you're going to make it work, because doing something 50% is pointless and inevitably leads to failed risks, thus the bad name for risk taking and impulsive thinking. And if you feel that the fear of being judged is holding you back from taking a risk then simply don't let it. Who cares if you look sad and pathetic? Who cares if you look weird? Who cares if mid- jump you flop down like a chicken having a heart attack? Only you, its only you.

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

  I love this quote. Its like a boost to the system to get out of the routine you've inevitably fallen into and experiment more with life, avail of a broader range of the services that life has to offer. Yes its frightening and its super easy to chicken out and not do it but its worth it. If the fear is too great then just bear in mind that everything will be alright in the end. Life goes on. If you fail terribly at a chance you took its not the end of the world, you will have good days again.

  I feel like we should appreciate and respect those around us who are tremendous risk takers. They are truly inspirational and we should learn from them so we can all become wild and free:P  All the best to Heather whose leaving tomorrow on her big adventure and to anyone else who has taken the leap. Remember what I've said, regardless of what risk it is its one you want to do so its not wrong. Make the best of the circumstances you find yourself in and you'll thank yourself in the end. You're stronger than a lot of people right now and you're challenging your comfort zone. All bear in mind that life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. You are the only one stopping yourself!

                                                                                           Love,
                                                                                                 Rachel=)


  

Body Image and Weight.

  

I would guess that the majority of the people reading this have an opinion on their weight. The way their body looks would mean a lot to them. I hope I'm wrong, but from experience I find that a person's weight and body is ridiculously over talked about. Nearly everyone has an opinion on their body shape and unfortunately most of the time this is a negative one.

I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again, the media. Its totally messed up. I'm entirely convinced that 100%, yes 100% of this whole opinion that the skinny look is best is derived from this corrupt communication network. If teenage girls(they're the main people affected by poor body image) didn't constantly see skinny models everywhere they wouldn't possess the burning desire to achieve this body type which looks so glamorous and a bearer of happiness. Men too have super fit body builder, muscly body types to idolise and the whole thing is just super pressurising, depressing and dangerous.

“To all the girls that think you’re fat because you’re not a size zero, you’re the beautiful one, its society who’s ugly.” -Marilyn Monroe.

People can go to desperate measures to lose weight, and often they don't do it the 'correct way'. The way that takes a while to see results and doesn't alter your diet immediately so you can get skinny in a week. Out of desperation to reach this impossible goal people starve themselves and make themselves desperately weak, for what? That's an easy question for me to ask when I'm not currently in the mindset that these people are in. For some reason the craving to become very thin or to just change your body to look "perfect" is so strong and overpowering that people just can't let it go.  In some cases eating disorders develop.

If you told a caveman about eating disorders I highly doubt he'd ever be able to comprehend the concept. They would have seen food as its meant to be seen, as a means of surviving. At what point did it change in our eyes? Now people have huge emotional attachments to a thing which is just supposed to nourish the body. This Mr. Flintstone type character wouldn't be able to understand why someone wouldn't eat when they're hungry and had food available, and all in the name of image? He'd laugh in your face.

That is an ignorant response though. I think that the way some people treat eating disorders is terrible. "Why don't they just go eat a cheese burger?", "But they're skinny, why can't they see that?" Its not as simple as shoving cakes down their mouths. Its a psychological condition that should stir pity in the soul, not anger in the mind. Patience can be lost when there is a lack of understanding and I know that well, but these people don't want to live the way they are, its like they're puppets to the eating disorder and can't escape its clutches. People need to take a little more care when dealing with anorexics/ bulimics because they're not as fortunate to have your attitude towards food and your own body.

"Don't be defined by your size"

I believe that a lot of perfectionists and people who were heavy as children can be particularly susceptible to eating disorders. Another problem is that every woman's apparent desire to be super thin is pretty out in the open and accepted. On tumblr and other sites like it, you often see picture quotes reading "I need to get skinny" and 'thinspiration' is commonplace. The fact that most people don't react when a girl says she feels fat or is trying to lose weight is more fuel to the fire. Human Beings also have an aid to their weight worries, the weighing scales. Woohoo! They have numbers to obsess over. And then there's calories. It almost turns into a sickeningly pleasing activity for people to count calories and weighing themselves everyday, however it only leads to depression because you're almost always disappointed standing on the scales and when you find out there's like 400 cals in a brownie.

I believe in honesty. So although this is pretty hard for me to do I will admit that I suffered from a very mild eating disorder/ weight obsession a year ago. Very few people know because I feel embarrassed that I ever could have been so 'weak'. I don't even feel qualified to say I suffered from one because I didn't lose enough weight to be anorexic or whatever but in my mind it was very strong. I believe it was because I went through a perfectionist period and that I've always been an over thinker (think and then think some more;)). I was also overweight as a child and I was always told this, even though I was very young. I never thought I could reach a weight that other kids in my class had. Its a sad thought for a child to have. Anyway, It was a tough year for me. I constantly counted calories and wanted to lose more weight. It was my biggest insecurity and I know how hard it  feels to try and move on. I should have but I didn't receive professional help. However, it is the greatest achievement I have ever made to say that I dragged myself over the finish line of recovery. I can now say with 100% conviction that I have not one ounce of an eating disorder/ body issues in me. The reason I'm telling you this isn't to blow my trumpet, but to maybe try and help others suffering from the same thing.

It took a lot of repercussions and stumbling backwards before I made it out the other end but what helped me was letting go of the perfectionist values I possessed. I grew emotionally  and became happier and more confident in other areas and this lead me to move forward with the problem, I genuinely don't know what else worked for me. It was simply me working hard at being happy. Another reason I don't like people knowing is because I don't want them to judge me on that, it bears no resemblance to who I am today. I have grown so much since then and have absolutely no issue with my weight (I'm being honest). Maybe you think I was being too personal telling anyone who reads this that information but I'm not ashamed of who I am, my past included. You shouldn't feel ashamed or weak because you're struggling or have struggled. I want people to know that from first hand experience I can tell you that eating disorders are not driven by attention-seeking  or just generally being annoying. Its society, perfectionism, remarks and various other truly complicated triggers.

To address people who are just insecure about their body, whether it be to eating disorder level or 'stereotypical  teenage girl level' all I can say is to try and really follow all the quotes that you agree with in theory, like the Marilyn Monroe one above, but can't act on. Once again I ask you to incorporate logic into the situation because if you're insecure about your figure, whatever you see in the mirror is more than likely irrational. Also build up a high self esteem and positive thinking attitude in other areas and your body issues should heal. Its hard, but its so possible.

This is such an important issue to me that no matter how much I say I'll feel like I'm leaving something out.
Remember, no one thinks about your weight a fraction of how much you do. Happiness is so much more important than the gap between your thighs or a flat stomach, which if you'll bear in mind you only want because of what you've been told, what society tells you. Don't be society's generic puppet. You're so much more than that.

       How do you feel about your weight?

                                                                        Love,
                                                                             Rachel!=)

Makeup VS Intelligence?

I'm telling you, there's brain power required in putting on mascara...

It has come to my attention recently that a debate took place where the motion lay that "Women who wear makeup are less intelligent than women who don't". It struck me as a very interesting argument and so I thought I'd share my opinion. Male readers, don't fret if you feel like this post does not apply to you. You're opinion on this is equally valuable!

Firstly I would like to re define the sentence.

1. I don't think it should be limited to just women's intelligence. It is becoming much more popular for guys to wear makeup too.

2. I'm going to investigate what they mean by intelligence. I mean, it such a broad word, isn't it?

3. I'm also going to look at the fact that the declaration does not go into why a person might be wearing the makeup.

So, lets begin!

The main issue I have with the accusation is that you don't know why the person is wearing makeup. We don't all wear it for the same reason, to impress people. Some of us like to wear it because its a collection obsession, just like match cards and stamps, there is so much makeup that it genuinely becomes a hobby to collect it. As well as this, I know that I'm obsessed with colours, and makeup is all about that. There are thousands of different lipstick, blush and eye shadow shades to have fun with. And that's just it, Makeup is an art. Its  a method of expression and creativity only on our faces instead of a paper canvas.However I am well aware that people have taken to wearing makeup for insecurity reasons. Many don't feel pretty without it on and may not even leave the house barefaced! This is where the claim can be justified.

What is intelligence? I think most people agree that there is not only one type. Yes, if you're a student you're encircled by the thought that "book smart" intelligence is the only one and I think in this world we live in, Knowledge as an intelligence is ranked far too highly. Its a type of intelligence to know loads of stuff whether it be the names of presidents, the location of different countries or tonnes of historical facts, however it is not the be all and end all. There are many other types. Sensitivity is a type of intelligence, I count that as being able to feel the emotions of other individuals easily. There's an intelligence in being able to come up with ideas and engage in deep thoughts and think philosophically. Common sense is intelligence (one which I possess little of, I was packing ingredients for a dish to be made in school once, the recipe required salt so I brought in the whole bottle. I mean it didn't give me a measurement...?)

And there are various others which I have not mentioned. Intelligence is a very complex matter which is simplified much too often to the point where it has lost its detail. There is one type of intelligence, however, that I have not mentioned. I believe it is an intelligence to look past the images you see in magazines and on billboards of super glamorous models, and see instead a fake idealism, photo shop and a corrupt business.

To be able to hold your own and stand your ground. To be so connected with yourself that you can't be fooled,even slightly by the media, into changing yourself. That is an intelligence. And so going back to what I said earlier about many wearing make up to cover insecurities, I think this is the only justification that people who wear makeup are less intelligent. They have become sucked into the media and have lost the art of questioning it. That is an intelligence lost. But it is one type, and one type alone.

Overall, I completely disagree with the statement. To me, even the idea that wearing make up affected other types of intelligence is ridiculous. The action of putting lipstick on will not cause you to forget your history dates or drop 10 IQ points. I feel that where most people debating this are coming from is from a very stereotypical place. However stereotypes do not belong in the world of truth so saying that every one who wears make up is a barbie doll is false. I love make up because its so fun to mess around with and everyone has their different reasons for wearing it. Don't judge a book by its cover!

What do you think? Do you think people who wear makeup are less intelligent than those who don't?

Love,

Rachel!=)

The need to be different.

 I'm going to say it, I'm going to use the word hipster. My definition of such a word is someone who tries to be different and is super proud to call themselves weird to the point where they randomly scream or say something "random" like "I love cheese" or "Potato" followed by "I'm so weird" with a triumphant grin.
I personally don't get it and I feel like it is a growing and pressurising epidemic.
      I remember when I was younger,  My drama group were all trying to come up with really different ideas to stage a production. "Oh no we couldn't perform in somewhere as boring and ordinary as a stage?! That would be madness, I mean when you come to think about it, isn't it a bit mainstream to stand on our  two feet, that's been done before!" So anyway that was what was running through all our minds until one guy said "why does it have to be different? Why isn't it OK sometimes to be the same?" And I remember agreeing with him at the time and I still do today because essentially to me being different and unique is in all of us naturally, you don't need to force it. In this case, while original ideas were great to use to add to the production, we didn't need to have a drag-queen Hamlet or rack our brains stress fully, we could use a traditional stage and setting but make it different with our acting.
    And I feel like life is the same. We don't need to put that pressure on ourselves to do something different or say something really out there just so everyone will think we're unique. If we're really being ourselves, we'll do and say what we want to, whether it be generic or revolutionary, but the way we do it is what makes us special.
  I would also just like to make a point that I think a lot of fearful people, who very much go with the crowd like to label anyone who dares to stand out and act on what they believe in  as 'hipsters' and that is certainly not where I'm coming from. I believe hugely in being different, what I don't believe in is being different just to be different.
       I think that you know yourself deep down when you're trying to be different and isn't that kind of clear that you do care what people think of you? We all have this notion that people who really care what people think of them are quiet, fearful and try to blend in so no one picks them apart but it only recently dawned on me that if you try and stand out just to stand out and essentially act like a hipster then you're just the same as the mainstream, crowd- pleasers.  Then you are just the same as the majority of the world who can't let go of others' opinions on them. What's actually different then is forgetting that need to be different, just like forgetting the need to be the same because  both lead to you feeling pressurised and bad about yourself.
              I suppose as I've written this thought process down and hopefully by you reading it we can come to the conclusion that hipsters aren't very different after all, their motives are just the same as someone who tries to be like everyone else. What I feel would be a useful exercise for us all would be to identify whether we like a certain thing because of what it brings to our life or because its different and out there or on the other side of the coin, 'mainstream'. It might take a weight off your shoulders to ditch the worry in your head of having to come up with an unbelievably original idea for something and instead go with your gut instinct. You'll always think of something much better.
                             
Answer these questions in the comment section below:
1. Do you think its a good thing to be my definition of a hipster? I'd love to know your reasons! Maybe you could show me something I never thought of?:)
2. Think of someone you know who naturally stands out by being themselves, what is it about them which is so unique?
                                 
                                                                                 Love,
                                                                  Rachel.=)
                                                                            

Happiness

Happiness: My 2 Cents...

             Happiness is the one thing I will agree that all of us have in common. Though diverse in many extremes, what keeps us going in this great mystery called life is that feeling, that feeling I will never attempt to describe.

             Despite happiness being alls' true aim in life, why is it that so many people cannot maintain a euphoric moment and why do we live in the future, procrastinating being happy until another day? Now don't assume I'm preaching , at the moment I stand just as confused about life as you may be.

             I believe in a false happiness and a true happiness. A false happiness presents itself when you get that glee from bitching, from mocking someone, from being negative and getting that laugh. Its so subtle in most situations but I feel that all of these things are bred from insecurity, UN happiness within yourself. Believe me, I feel like the biggest victim to these traps.

             However on the other side, there is true happiness. Happiness that does not vanish after your Mom shouts at you, you fail that test or gain a few inches. This happiness I can only dream about. I think it will be like living in a state of mind that I've never achieved before. I won't compare it to a sugar rush because you always come down, nor the night before holidays because the adrenaline rush won't be present. It'll simply be contentment.

            And I'm not the only one (duh) who's thought deeply about such matters. I recently read "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin in which she endeavours to attempt all means to feel more grateful for what she has in her life. In other words to be happy. In her quest she read many people's opinion on happiness. From Pluto to modern thinkers they all gave their share. I could tell you dozens upon dozens of truly inspiring 'happiness quotes'. We've all heard them (I love them), read the theories but why still can't we, as a whole, achieve paradise?

        I think coolness has replaced happiness. There is such a huge desire to be cool and funny. One may argue that a person being thought of as cool might make them happy but isn't that like false happiness? Its sort of based off of insecurity and a need for people to like you, to fit in. In that respect, does that mean that confidence is the key to eternal happiness? The disposition in which you truly could not care what people thought of you, you possessed utter faith in your morals, capabilities and dreams. I think we may have just found the gem. That's all jolly fine though but confidence is a difficult thing to achieve for it is such a complex matter. You could have complete confidence in one sector and zero percent in another. However I am convinced that confidence goes hand in hand with happiness.

         Up to now you may feel that I've just been discussing an individual, internal issue but one person's point of happiness affects the whole world's. I know that if a person is sufficiently confident and happy in themselves to give me a genuine compliment, it brightens my whole day. Even a flippant one can increase a person's happiness to spread to all they meet.

         In the opposite way, madness, judgement and cruelty all have the domino effect. Because of this I call on everyone to try and spread some positivity in the world through a smile, a compliment, simply good intentions because I guarantee you karma will not take long and you will receive the benefits. Its about time that we all do what makes us happy and respect that person who doesn't give a hoot what people think of them. In fact, let's not simply admire them, let's become them.

NB: Everything mentioned above is simply my opinion. I would love to hear everyone else's idea of happiness so maybe I could become inspired!:)

                                 

                                                   Love,

                                                         Rachel!=)
My video on this topic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4MO1nUwc7M