Success

A successful man?

In many's eyes, through implications anyway, this a very popular picture of what success is in this world. Having a load of money, from a brilliantly paid job topped with power and even fame is probably the most widespread definition of what the term "success" means. I actually just looked it up in a dictionary and its true. The definition is "the attainment of wealth, positions, honors and the like" and another one is "the accomplishment of one's goals". These are the two types of success I want to speak about and then I want to give my own take on such a weighty, human- made- pressurising word.

Jay Z, an iconic rapper and regarded as an extremely successful businessman. He's married to another powerhouse, Beyonce Knowles, and is a good representation of the hip hop/ gangster/ swag chasing/ rap industry which he's referred to himself as being the king of. There are many others I could mention who frequently bring up in their tracks how successful they are because they have money, fame, power, women to have sex with and various other materialistic, flashy things (apart from the women, but that's how they see them). I think that's sad. I genuinely pity them and their view on success which is so dependent on external circumstances. The success itself is very outward based, proving to the world that you are successful instead of being so within. Drake (he's YOLO guy) released a song in 2006 entitled "Success" where the chorus is  "Yeah I want the money/Money and the cars/Cars and the clothes/The hoes/I suppose I just wanna be/I just wanna be successful" To summarise these desires as success is, underneath it all, what a lot of people would count as a fitting one. That to me is where the problem lies.

Moving away from that theory for a second, I want to move onto another one. Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever heard of Eric Thomas? Hands down one of the best motivational speakers I've ever heard and truly is an inspiration. 

http://www.youtube.com/user/etthehiphoppreacher

This is a link to his YouTube channel and I highly recommend checking it out, you won't be disappointed. However I would like to focus on his mantra which is 

"When you wanna succeed as much as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful"

This is possibly a more extreme version of another hugely accepted formula for success. This theory contains the belief that with hard work and huge amounts of will power you can achieve anything you want to achieve. Eric Thomas uses the phrase constantly and basically says that you can't allow yourself to be distracted with other things apart from working towards what you want to be successful at. You need to want it desperately and sacrifice things for it, a huge example he gives is sleep. He even quotes 50 cent who said "Sleep is for broke people". So to get to the point, this theory of success is very broad, you are left to decide what you want to be successful at whether its academia, getting a promotion at work, losing weight whatever it is this formula will apply if a good work ethic is required. And I agree, we are lazy creatures most of us and motivation is a requirement to get things done however I raise an eyebrow at the extremity of losing sleep and not taking proper care of yourself just for success in these terms. I laugh every time I think of 50 cent's quote because to me sleep is not for broke but for healthy, happy people. If that means poor, then lets live in poverty. This definition for success troubles me in another way too. Once we accomplish a goal, we move onto the next one and the next one and so on. We aren't satisfied and don't deem ourselves successful because we could always be more successful, there will always be someone who is, always a higher position to fill. You're climbing an infinite ladder and if you can't feel it, then is it success?

In my opinion, neither of these mean success. I believe success is happiness. Success is waking up in the morning (after a good night's sleep) and having something to look forward to in the day ahead, to wake up with a smile, to wake up possibly with problems to deal with but no worries because they haven't affected you. Success is holding your patience intact and being able to love even those who act in a way that makes it impossible. Success is loving yourself, looking in the mirror and not cringing or frowning, loving the unhealthy parts of you so that you'll want to make them healthy, falling in love with the weird things you say and the awkward things you do. Success is confidence, when what you laugh at most are the looks of contempt on people's faces as you speak the truth, as you be who you are because they won't. Success is seeing the full pigment in the colours of every thing in the world, to never grow too old and wise to have breath taking moments on this ancient earth, to soak up learning like a sponge and to truly listen to people. Not to pick up when it might be a good time to start speaking yourself, but to actually absorb the words into you. Success is pushing past the gates of lies and being 100% honest with yourself and with everybody, to walk through life with your palms open and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and reveal the amazing thoughts within you. Success is having a calm soul, focused on the present moment and not possessing any bitterness or hate for another individual. Success is knowing with all the certainty you need that no matter what the world throws at you, there is something in you that can overcome any obstacle. Success is when you are grateful, when you have complete awareness of the treasures that exist in your life, that you are breathing being one of them. 

This is success to me. If you've succeeded in being happy internally and connecting with who you are then you are a success and you can never fail. Only with this foundation can you go on and achieve all of the dreams you may have and be able to put the work in to getting them. 

Love,

Rachel! =)

Sluts and Whores

Slut?

   

     Sluts and Whores. Terms we use to describe women who sleep around and wear "too little" clothing. And the funny thing is that 90% of the people using either word are women. I've used it myself, when I was younger. I mean I'm definitely not a candidate for the slut group, a convent some may say, but provocative is certainly not a word you'd use to describe me. All the same though I think its a word that should be eradicated from alls' vocabulary for many reasons.
    The first being the fact that it is none of your business how a woman chooses to dress. If you are worried about how women are being made into sex objects and used then it still doesn't make sense to start calling them names and blaming them. If you're a woman, just because you do not wish to dress provocatively does not give you the right to call other females out for doing so. Often its a jealousy thing, other women become envious of the way these so called "whores" get huge amounts of attention from men. I don't know what your jealous of? You're jealous of being looked upon as a sex object, only from the chest down? Why would you desire that type of attention, those type of men? And if you're a man, you don't own your girlfriend/wife/ any woman. You cannot dictate how they dress or what they do. Its not like the old days where women were ye're puppets. Women are independent and have so many more rights now. They have their own style and beliefs. As we always did, in case you didn't know;)
    Also, and a very important reason, is that there is no male equivalent of the term "slut" and that's definitely not because men are straight laced and faithful. If a guy sleeps with a load of women its looked highly upon in his circle of friends, he's the boss and is pushed up a notch. If a girl sleeps around however she gets called these derogatory names by her peers and no one tries to look further into why she did it. Or just simply leave her to a  judgement free life. Where is ye're justification in that? Its highly sexist and unfair.
     As well as this, many women feel it is a type of feminism to show off the female body. They don't necessarily do it to impress men. I agree that it is more feministic to dress femininely (or provocatively as some do) than to dress like a man because we should be able to prove that we're equal to them while wearing high heels and lipstick. Why try and become like them? With this being said, it is essential for all women to feel free after years of oppression. They can wear and do what they wish just like men can.
    I've always emphasised though that women shouldn't feel the need to be sexy and promiscuous. So many girls do feel that they have to wear so little clothing when they go out to impress men and I believe this pressure is wrong. We are not mere objects and we deserve so much more than to be thought of as that. And just remember, if you think you're special because some guys staring at your chest in a really low top? He's done that and will do that to any woman he meets. Millions of women have 'amazing' bodies.
     To conclude, I think we females especially need to quit using these horrible words towards our fellow girls. We should be so proud on how far women have come to be able to dress and do what they like and even if you know they're just acting this way to impress men then pity them, don't become angry with them! Its hardly their fault that society's voice for the male species has made them insecure now is it? Show a bit of mercy because you may one day feel that too. I vow never to use the word "slut" or "whore" again because neither word tells the story or  the reasoning behind the girl standing in front of me.
   
         Do you know what's sad? I couldn't find an anti-slut quote to end this post with. Shows something....

                                                    Do you believe in promiscuity?
                   
                                                                                   Love,
                                                                                      Rachel=)
   

 

Love

                                                     

As its Valentine's Day I thought it fitting to make a blog post on the most important topic in the world I guess, love. And despite it being the most important thing in all our lives we tend to misuse it, abuse it and take it for granted.

I personally believe in true love. I also believe in soul mates. I think as regards relationships and dating, people rush into things and commit themselves to people they don't truly love. I don't understand the concept of divorce because I don't get why you would say you will spend the rest of your life with someone through hell or high water and then leave the relationship? (Obviously I think divorce should certainly be an option because no one should be stuck in unhappiness) but  I suppose its just a question that stirs in my mind sometimes, you know you hear of celebrities in particular who divorce their partners within two weeks and make precautions for an easy divorce before they get married. I mean, what's the point? I'd hope that if I ever do get married its to someone I adore and will stay with for the rest of my life. Surely that's everyone's goal?

One thing that breaks up marriages and destroys the name of love are affairs. Cheating is one thing that has always been able to get under my skin. I don't know why but my heart sinks whenever its brought up, I'm convinced (as I believe in reincarnation) that I was cheated on in a past life. Its the only explanation I can think of for the feeling I get with it. I don't know why people cheat, the urge is obviously derived from unhappiness within the marriage/ relationship but as its often been said, why not just leave? I guess its not as simple as that. However one belief I will never lose is that love is not based off of sex. I am much too prudish when it comes to that sort of thing but regardless I don't get why its so talked about. Why it breaks up love through cheating and why people replace love with it?

I believe that love is not just between a man and a woman. I used to be fanatically pro homosexuality( to a creepy point) but I still whole- heartily feel that love between a man and a man and a woman and a woman  is equal to heterosexual love. I am completely pro gay marriage and what I dislike is that even though attitudes towards gays and bisexuals has enormously improved, with their legal rights growing and growing, the attitudes a lot of (particularly) young people have towards them is rather backwards. Phrases I hate are "That's so gay" and "You faggot" often just used in a funny context but does that mean they should be used? I also know as a teenage girl that it wouldn't be welcomed with open arms for a teenage boy to admit he was gay. Why do the youth have the prejudices? I thought that would be the confused old people who felt uncomfortable...

I always laugh when I hear people my age, still technically a child, exclaim in distress "I'm Forever Alone" because they don't have a Valentine today or a boyfriend in general. I don't know if the opposite gender have those worries, but its blatantly obvious that us females do. This is coming from someone who has never had a boyfriend, its OK to be single at 16, you have time to snatch a boy out of desperation. Don't fret. I think a lot of people say it (a) to have the person they're saying it to tell them "that's rubbish" and "they'll break hearts" (b) they hear everyone else say it and it slips out (c) they genuinely have developed this irrational fear and have lost all logical thinking. Let's not blame them. No matter what age we are (unless you're like ten reading this)I think its fair to say that most of us have worried about the prospect of dieing alone. However, what's meant to be will be!

All in all, I'm not flashing my middle finger to the Valentine's Day section in Tesco because I think its cool that we have a day devoted to love, I hope today we all reflected on love in our lives and valued it. Because without it, where would we be?

Do you believe in true love?

                                                       Love, (how many times have I mentioned the word in this post?;))

                                                           Rachel!=)