Success

A successful man?

In many's eyes, through implications anyway, this a very popular picture of what success is in this world. Having a load of money, from a brilliantly paid job topped with power and even fame is probably the most widespread definition of what the term "success" means. I actually just looked it up in a dictionary and its true. The definition is "the attainment of wealth, positions, honors and the like" and another one is "the accomplishment of one's goals". These are the two types of success I want to speak about and then I want to give my own take on such a weighty, human- made- pressurising word.

Jay Z, an iconic rapper and regarded as an extremely successful businessman. He's married to another powerhouse, Beyonce Knowles, and is a good representation of the hip hop/ gangster/ swag chasing/ rap industry which he's referred to himself as being the king of. There are many others I could mention who frequently bring up in their tracks how successful they are because they have money, fame, power, women to have sex with and various other materialistic, flashy things (apart from the women, but that's how they see them). I think that's sad. I genuinely pity them and their view on success which is so dependent on external circumstances. The success itself is very outward based, proving to the world that you are successful instead of being so within. Drake (he's YOLO guy) released a song in 2006 entitled "Success" where the chorus is  "Yeah I want the money/Money and the cars/Cars and the clothes/The hoes/I suppose I just wanna be/I just wanna be successful" To summarise these desires as success is, underneath it all, what a lot of people would count as a fitting one. That to me is where the problem lies.

Moving away from that theory for a second, I want to move onto another one. Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever heard of Eric Thomas? Hands down one of the best motivational speakers I've ever heard and truly is an inspiration. 

http://www.youtube.com/user/etthehiphoppreacher

This is a link to his YouTube channel and I highly recommend checking it out, you won't be disappointed. However I would like to focus on his mantra which is 

"When you wanna succeed as much as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful"

This is possibly a more extreme version of another hugely accepted formula for success. This theory contains the belief that with hard work and huge amounts of will power you can achieve anything you want to achieve. Eric Thomas uses the phrase constantly and basically says that you can't allow yourself to be distracted with other things apart from working towards what you want to be successful at. You need to want it desperately and sacrifice things for it, a huge example he gives is sleep. He even quotes 50 cent who said "Sleep is for broke people". So to get to the point, this theory of success is very broad, you are left to decide what you want to be successful at whether its academia, getting a promotion at work, losing weight whatever it is this formula will apply if a good work ethic is required. And I agree, we are lazy creatures most of us and motivation is a requirement to get things done however I raise an eyebrow at the extremity of losing sleep and not taking proper care of yourself just for success in these terms. I laugh every time I think of 50 cent's quote because to me sleep is not for broke but for healthy, happy people. If that means poor, then lets live in poverty. This definition for success troubles me in another way too. Once we accomplish a goal, we move onto the next one and the next one and so on. We aren't satisfied and don't deem ourselves successful because we could always be more successful, there will always be someone who is, always a higher position to fill. You're climbing an infinite ladder and if you can't feel it, then is it success?

In my opinion, neither of these mean success. I believe success is happiness. Success is waking up in the morning (after a good night's sleep) and having something to look forward to in the day ahead, to wake up with a smile, to wake up possibly with problems to deal with but no worries because they haven't affected you. Success is holding your patience intact and being able to love even those who act in a way that makes it impossible. Success is loving yourself, looking in the mirror and not cringing or frowning, loving the unhealthy parts of you so that you'll want to make them healthy, falling in love with the weird things you say and the awkward things you do. Success is confidence, when what you laugh at most are the looks of contempt on people's faces as you speak the truth, as you be who you are because they won't. Success is seeing the full pigment in the colours of every thing in the world, to never grow too old and wise to have breath taking moments on this ancient earth, to soak up learning like a sponge and to truly listen to people. Not to pick up when it might be a good time to start speaking yourself, but to actually absorb the words into you. Success is pushing past the gates of lies and being 100% honest with yourself and with everybody, to walk through life with your palms open and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and reveal the amazing thoughts within you. Success is having a calm soul, focused on the present moment and not possessing any bitterness or hate for another individual. Success is knowing with all the certainty you need that no matter what the world throws at you, there is something in you that can overcome any obstacle. Success is when you are grateful, when you have complete awareness of the treasures that exist in your life, that you are breathing being one of them. 

This is success to me. If you've succeeded in being happy internally and connecting with who you are then you are a success and you can never fail. Only with this foundation can you go on and achieve all of the dreams you may have and be able to put the work in to getting them. 

Love,

Rachel! =)

Quotations Sunday: 24/02/2013

Today's quote is one that I recommend sticking  on your bedroom wall as a helpful reminder for when you come in feeling distressed after a row with your Mom or dejected after a day that didn't quite go your way.

Its a quote that really transfers the power over to you, the way its phrased is personal and just sinks in. This morning I read a piece where someone was talking about how it is not possible to be happy all the time. From my experience I agree, things happen in life where you can't react with a smile however there are also those times where you have the power to pull yourself out of a self-pitying session and make yourself happy.

I received some disappointing news this weekend and usually I would have gotten upset over it and spent some time thinking negatively and worrying but I genuinely thought of this quote and I didn't allow myself to. I brought my usual logical self back and thought how pointless it would be if I got upset over this.

And its true. Isn't it? Isn't being sad just a huge waste of time? Now, we'll need to put this into perspective. I'm not saying to just glide on by in contentment when someone you love dies or something tragic like that happens but I'm talking about when you break up with someone or get a bad result in a test, then its important to not waste your precious time being down. And do you know what's great about your life? You can control it. Just because everyone expects you to be upset about something doesn't mean you have to be, you can surprise them by being strong and just letting the incident go. One thing I've learned through the course of my life is that there are go to be a lot of people who love to see you upset. It comes from their own  internal depression and need for others to feel down also. They will keep bringing up the incident just to try and catch a flicker of pain on your face. Those people are extremely difficult to deal with. However you can. Its just a case of truly letting your hurt go instead of having it masked inside you, almost waiting to be brought to the surface again. As I said in a previous post, "the best way out is through", to get rid of your sadness I feel its important to think about the situation rationally and then I guarantee you the pain will fade away and it won't seem as bad.

Time is precious. I feel like every old person I speak to tells me that the years have flown by and to enjoy my youth. The days go slowly but the years go fast, have you never heard that?  And its true even for me. I can't believe I've lived a whole 16 years of my life, it flew! I mean, most people believe that we only live once so time is extremely valuable, we can't waste it wallowing in despair! We need to realise that such wonderful things surround us and that sadness won't accomplish anything!

Be productive. Change whats bad in the world but do it with an energy, not in a depression.

My favourite ways to cheer myself up are:

-Think about the situation logically, I say it all the time but emotions can hide the solution to a problem.

-Genuinely think of the positives to the situation. If you didn't do as well as you thought in an exam be glad you passed, if your significant other broke up with you, be glad that you're free to move on and out of a relationship that wasn't working. 

-Watch something that makes you laugh. Laughter's just the best thing ever. Am I right?

- If you're lucky enough to have someone to turn to who really does care about your happiness talk to them about it. Sometimes just saying things out loud can help you make sense of them.

-Keep yourself busy. Immerse yourself in work or set up a blog;)

-Everything seems better after a good night's sleep.

-Don't allow yourself to stop taking care of you. Give yourself a face mask or shave if you're a guy. If you don't have the energy to keep up your routine, you're just letting the sadness take over you.

-Remember the very important phrase, "life goes on". The future will be brighter. Don't lose hope. I know you can only think about your current pain but try and see the broader picture.

-Keep up your self esteem by picking things out that you like about yourself and all the accomplishments you've made in your life. I'm sure you'll find loads!

-Try meditation or yoga. I freaking love that stuff!

And guys...... DON'T COMFORT EAT!:P

Do you have any good tips to cheer yourself up when you're feeling down?

Love,

Rachel.=)