Feminism

I am very aware of the stigma attached to feminism, I've heard it being referred to as the "f" word and many women and men don't wish to be associated with it or label themselves as feminists. Personally I think its because many assume it is a bra burning, men loathing group of people but its not, not in my eyes anyway. I had that attitude when I was like thirteen but my feminist values have very much changed since then. They are now more tame and broad. However, I still definitely regard myself as a feminist. I define it simply as an equality belief. I don't think we're better than men, I simply acknowledge that women have come along way in the beady eyes of a man's world and more importantly have a bit to go before we can live in harmony.

“When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.” 

I actually possess a great deal of knowledge on this topic, which is unlike me as I generally prefer writing from internal feelings and experiences. Regardless I've read books and articles on Feminism and Women's rights so I actually have evidence to back me up:O One was an angsty book, which would depress you more and more after each sentence. It talked a lot about how its difficult for women in the workplace because many meetings or conferences take place in gentle men's clubs (which I'm assuming is a classy way of saying strip club??) and heterosexual women naturally find this uncomfortable. I'm also fully aware of the immense difference in gender equality between third world countries and the first world. Women are complete second class citizens which is sad to think of isn't it? We might feel like there's no need for feminism because we feel its some women overreacting or being hormonal bitches. But its not, there's a much bigger picture.

“A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.” 

And even aside from the obvious, basic human right depriving ways of some cultures which are forced on their women, we here in developed countries still need feminism. Yes maybe its subtle and kind of hard to put your finger on or justify but sexism is still out there! What I want to address is this whole sex  object phenomenon which women have sunk into! I haven't forgotten that I wrote a blog post about the terms "sluts" and "whores" where I defended women who have casual sex and wear little clothing. I stand by that! A woman should be allowed to treat her body and her sexual instinct the way she wants to. That's equality. What's not equality is women being sex trafficked, drugged and thrown into brothels to be raped over and over and over again. Even on a lesser scale this pressure to wear half nothing or else you can't get a man's attention, the fact that a woman's body is constantly talked about by men as if she has no brain or feelings or that she isn't even a human being. The fact that a lot of men subconsciously put women they see in magazines and porn into the same box as the cars they see on the next page. Where's the feminism in that? How is that equal? Once again I wish to reiterate that women taking pride in their bodies and wishing to reveal their bodies and dress femininely is fantastic, a huge step but us becoming sex objects? That's just a leap backwards...

“A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual.” 
― Gloria Steinem

Stereotypes is another huge problem I guess everyone faces really. The reality that in advertisements and such where women are always calling for "Mr. Muscle" and always the voice behind the washing up liquid. We're always in the kitchen basically. We're never the superheroes and we're never the builders (unless they're super hot sweaty builders with little clothing) and so I guess the stereotypical placing annoys me. Because we have so much more rights now the law is on our side but until attitudes change we cannot be equal. Emerging from the telly though, Its true that house husbands/ stay at home dads are not as common or as accepted in society as stay at home mothers and wives. Men are still the more common bread winners of the family and until 50% of stay at home parents are men then 50% of the workforce will not be women. And its shocking how few women work in the senior jobs or in politics and a huge chunk of that problem is confidence. That will be a topic I will discuss in another blog! Prepare for a long 'un.

“Women make up one half of society. Our society will remain backward and in chains unless its women are liberated, enlightened and educated.” 
― Saddam Hussein, The Revolution and Woman in Iraq

This is only touching on why feminism is so required in all our lives and there's much more to say but they're just my main reasons that I'm grateful for its existence. The reason I'm writing this post is because its International Women's Day! Woohoo! I was lucky enough to attend a talk on women and their role in the workforce and politics today in the city hall in my city. There were three great female speakers with our lord mayor chairing and it just spurred me on to give my views on the misunderstood "f" word. I'm so proud to be a girl and I hope all of my peers and women in my life feel the same. Lets all try and help the women who haven't the same rights as we have and work on closing the final gap between men and women's equality. On this very special day I want to thank all the inspiring women who have aided the amazing progress of women's rights and all the sufficiently secure and mature men who see the importance of equality for women and have pushed the progress forward also! We're all human at the end of the day and we're not that different if you think about it. The essence of living is in all of us. Both genders can love, laugh, smile, learn, cry, feel, fear and do everything else us weird humans do. The rest is only details.

    So boys/girls and others. What's your view on Feminism?
                                                          
                                                              Love,
                                                                  Rachel!=)
                                                                  

Love

                                                     

As its Valentine's Day I thought it fitting to make a blog post on the most important topic in the world I guess, love. And despite it being the most important thing in all our lives we tend to misuse it, abuse it and take it for granted.

I personally believe in true love. I also believe in soul mates. I think as regards relationships and dating, people rush into things and commit themselves to people they don't truly love. I don't understand the concept of divorce because I don't get why you would say you will spend the rest of your life with someone through hell or high water and then leave the relationship? (Obviously I think divorce should certainly be an option because no one should be stuck in unhappiness) but  I suppose its just a question that stirs in my mind sometimes, you know you hear of celebrities in particular who divorce their partners within two weeks and make precautions for an easy divorce before they get married. I mean, what's the point? I'd hope that if I ever do get married its to someone I adore and will stay with for the rest of my life. Surely that's everyone's goal?

One thing that breaks up marriages and destroys the name of love are affairs. Cheating is one thing that has always been able to get under my skin. I don't know why but my heart sinks whenever its brought up, I'm convinced (as I believe in reincarnation) that I was cheated on in a past life. Its the only explanation I can think of for the feeling I get with it. I don't know why people cheat, the urge is obviously derived from unhappiness within the marriage/ relationship but as its often been said, why not just leave? I guess its not as simple as that. However one belief I will never lose is that love is not based off of sex. I am much too prudish when it comes to that sort of thing but regardless I don't get why its so talked about. Why it breaks up love through cheating and why people replace love with it?

I believe that love is not just between a man and a woman. I used to be fanatically pro homosexuality( to a creepy point) but I still whole- heartily feel that love between a man and a man and a woman and a woman  is equal to heterosexual love. I am completely pro gay marriage and what I dislike is that even though attitudes towards gays and bisexuals has enormously improved, with their legal rights growing and growing, the attitudes a lot of (particularly) young people have towards them is rather backwards. Phrases I hate are "That's so gay" and "You faggot" often just used in a funny context but does that mean they should be used? I also know as a teenage girl that it wouldn't be welcomed with open arms for a teenage boy to admit he was gay. Why do the youth have the prejudices? I thought that would be the confused old people who felt uncomfortable...

I always laugh when I hear people my age, still technically a child, exclaim in distress "I'm Forever Alone" because they don't have a Valentine today or a boyfriend in general. I don't know if the opposite gender have those worries, but its blatantly obvious that us females do. This is coming from someone who has never had a boyfriend, its OK to be single at 16, you have time to snatch a boy out of desperation. Don't fret. I think a lot of people say it (a) to have the person they're saying it to tell them "that's rubbish" and "they'll break hearts" (b) they hear everyone else say it and it slips out (c) they genuinely have developed this irrational fear and have lost all logical thinking. Let's not blame them. No matter what age we are (unless you're like ten reading this)I think its fair to say that most of us have worried about the prospect of dieing alone. However, what's meant to be will be!

All in all, I'm not flashing my middle finger to the Valentine's Day section in Tesco because I think its cool that we have a day devoted to love, I hope today we all reflected on love in our lives and valued it. Because without it, where would we be?

Do you believe in true love?

                                                       Love, (how many times have I mentioned the word in this post?;))

                                                           Rachel!=)

The need to be different.

 I'm going to say it, I'm going to use the word hipster. My definition of such a word is someone who tries to be different and is super proud to call themselves weird to the point where they randomly scream or say something "random" like "I love cheese" or "Potato" followed by "I'm so weird" with a triumphant grin.
I personally don't get it and I feel like it is a growing and pressurising epidemic.
      I remember when I was younger,  My drama group were all trying to come up with really different ideas to stage a production. "Oh no we couldn't perform in somewhere as boring and ordinary as a stage?! That would be madness, I mean when you come to think about it, isn't it a bit mainstream to stand on our  two feet, that's been done before!" So anyway that was what was running through all our minds until one guy said "why does it have to be different? Why isn't it OK sometimes to be the same?" And I remember agreeing with him at the time and I still do today because essentially to me being different and unique is in all of us naturally, you don't need to force it. In this case, while original ideas were great to use to add to the production, we didn't need to have a drag-queen Hamlet or rack our brains stress fully, we could use a traditional stage and setting but make it different with our acting.
    And I feel like life is the same. We don't need to put that pressure on ourselves to do something different or say something really out there just so everyone will think we're unique. If we're really being ourselves, we'll do and say what we want to, whether it be generic or revolutionary, but the way we do it is what makes us special.
  I would also just like to make a point that I think a lot of fearful people, who very much go with the crowd like to label anyone who dares to stand out and act on what they believe in  as 'hipsters' and that is certainly not where I'm coming from. I believe hugely in being different, what I don't believe in is being different just to be different.
       I think that you know yourself deep down when you're trying to be different and isn't that kind of clear that you do care what people think of you? We all have this notion that people who really care what people think of them are quiet, fearful and try to blend in so no one picks them apart but it only recently dawned on me that if you try and stand out just to stand out and essentially act like a hipster then you're just the same as the mainstream, crowd- pleasers.  Then you are just the same as the majority of the world who can't let go of others' opinions on them. What's actually different then is forgetting that need to be different, just like forgetting the need to be the same because  both lead to you feeling pressurised and bad about yourself.
              I suppose as I've written this thought process down and hopefully by you reading it we can come to the conclusion that hipsters aren't very different after all, their motives are just the same as someone who tries to be like everyone else. What I feel would be a useful exercise for us all would be to identify whether we like a certain thing because of what it brings to our life or because its different and out there or on the other side of the coin, 'mainstream'. It might take a weight off your shoulders to ditch the worry in your head of having to come up with an unbelievably original idea for something and instead go with your gut instinct. You'll always think of something much better.
                             
Answer these questions in the comment section below:
1. Do you think its a good thing to be my definition of a hipster? I'd love to know your reasons! Maybe you could show me something I never thought of?:)
2. Think of someone you know who naturally stands out by being themselves, what is it about them which is so unique?
                                 
                                                                                 Love,
                                                                  Rachel.=)
                                                                            

Behavior: Attractive and Unattractive.

    In this post, I want to touch on how certain portrayal's of insecurities are likable to  people and how other displays repel.But in General, I find that behavior is highly misunderstood.  
     If one person, we'll call him John, is very insecure about many parts of himself and those insecurities lead him to behave quietly, inwardly, in a way where he's constantly putting himself down and trying to please everybody then I can guarantee you that most people would like him and try to boost his confidence in himself. Am I right?
    Then if we take another example, Mary, who also has many insecurities, but as opposed to John, she acts in a loud manner, trying to put other people down to make herself just that little bit more satisfied with herself, constantly boasting herself or seeking compliments. Then we would more than likely give up on her, not bother to look deeper into why she's behaving this way or find the connection she has with John and treat her the same way. It is people like Mary that a lot of people dislike and find annoying. So what do we do? We ignore them or act negatively towards them which leads to a vicious circle of their poor attitude. 
    Essentially, I think its important that we try and review the people we find annoying in our lives and begin to attempt to understand that the way they act is not always the most accurate reflection of how they're feeling inside. When we're rude or mean, I'm convinced it comes from hurt on the inside and I'll say it again, insecurity. I am no expert but I've come to this conclusion from my own thoughts and experiences. So to all who read this, that is your task. Peel away a few more layers from the 'Mary's' in your life because if you think about it, we're all so deep that how could the surface layer reflect to the world what our core really looks like?

Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue... and that, for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness.
Naomi Campbell 
                                                       
                                                                     Love,
                                                        Rachel!=)
My Video on this topic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6O1Uzb93WE